then how about a "byte" for you ?
*2.bp.blogspot.com/-G_2Jll-47tI/Td8RfXcLFhI/AAAAAAAAA3I/_-C3x9fPmTQ/s1600/file_10_29%2B%25281%2529.jpg
Take my nibbles.
Nuff said.
*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/6/6WRKfz6TcE-OKRH6jm2zZQ2.jpg
*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/silver-surfer.jpg
*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/freddie.jpg
*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/10/mzg-jL3gA0Gd_CISpg3NQQ2.png
*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/6/6WRKfz6TcE-OKRH6jm2zZQ2.jpg
*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/silver-surfer.jpg
*wirdou.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/freddie.jpg
*i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/10/mzg-jL3gA0Gd_CISpg3NQQ2.png
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Flash
Lost in speed
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. “ Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. “ Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
nac
Aspiring Novelist
This was from a book written by GM Patrick Wolff.
Yasser Seirawan (a Grand Master), loves to try to reach a position where he can promote one of his pawns. Commenting on this aspect of his play, Joel Benjamin (GM), joked to Patrick Wolff, "Yasser keeps pushing his pawns even after he's checkmated!"
A few days later, Patrick told Yasser about this joke. "That's not fair," he said, "it only happened once!"
"You mean, it actually happened?"
"Well, many years ago, when I was a kid playing my first tournament, I played a master. And just when I was about to promote my pawn, he checkmated me. But before he could say anything, I promoted my pawn to a king."
"Did he tell you that was against the rules?"
"Nah. He just checkmated my other king too, and that was that."
Yasser Seirawan (a Grand Master), loves to try to reach a position where he can promote one of his pawns. Commenting on this aspect of his play, Joel Benjamin (GM), joked to Patrick Wolff, "Yasser keeps pushing his pawns even after he's checkmated!"
A few days later, Patrick told Yasser about this joke. "That's not fair," he said, "it only happened once!"
"You mean, it actually happened?"
"Well, many years ago, when I was a kid playing my first tournament, I played a master. And just when I was about to promote my pawn, he checkmated me. But before he could say anything, I promoted my pawn to a king."
"Did he tell you that was against the rules?"
"Nah. He just checkmated my other king too, and that was that."
Nipun
Whompy Whomperson
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER :-
My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your fa
vorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone....
YOUR EX-WIFE
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....
REPLY :
Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and *****ing. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care...
Signed....
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!
My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your fa
vorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone....
YOUR EX-WIFE
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....
REPLY :
Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and *****ing. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care...
Signed....
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!
^Too good 
sling-shot
Wise Old Owl
This thread has degraded too much.
For all people posting jokes and pictures etc. ---> Please read the thread title. There are other threads for jokes and if you feel necessary please create another one.
Please post only PJ's on this thread. Please...
For all people posting jokes and pictures etc. ---> Please read the thread title. There are other threads for jokes and if you feel necessary please create another one.
Please post only PJ's on this thread. Please...
Nipun
Whompy Whomperson
Last time a thread was created for jokes, it was closed because I started posting in it.
Not sure if I've posted this earlier:
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’
A web designer walks into a bar, leaves in haste after seeing the table layout there.
A web designer walks into a bar, leaves in haste after seeing the table layout there.
A Windows application walks into a Linux bar.
Bartender : What will it be?
Windows app : Wine please.
sling-shot
Wise Old Owl
Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne ke liye karoge ....
...
To dusro ki gaand me ungli karne ka waqt hi nahi milega
...
To dusro ki gaand me ungli karne ka waqt hi nahi milega
^Use spoilers with warning.
marvelousprashant
Cyborg Agent
I know this isn't a video thread but you have to WATCH THIS
That's upto the INDIA TV Standard