Nipun
Whompy Whomperson
At Dinner Little Jhonny Was Ordered To Lead In Prayer.
Little Jhonny: “But I Dont Know How To Pray?”
Dad: “Just Pray For Your Family Members, Friends And Neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny Started The Prayer:
Dear Lord, Thank You For Our Visitors And Their Children
Who Finished All My Cookies And Ice Cream. Bless Them So they Wont Come Again.
Forgive Our Neighbor’s Son, Who Removed My Sister’s Clothes And Wrestled With Her On Her Bed.
This Coming Christmas, Please Send Clothes To All Those Poor Naked Ladies On My Daddy’s I-phone
And Provide Shelter For The Homeless Men Who Use Mom’s Room When Daddy Is At Work.
Amen
Dinner Was Cancelled
--
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. :/
Looks like I found a treasure
Credit for this to T159:
Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?" "Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"
Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect!
Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"
To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.
It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision
"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."
"As you desire," said God.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.
"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair.
"This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"
-
Doctor ki Shaadi kuch is tarah se honi chahiye...
MEHENDI ki jagah DETTOL solution istemal ho..!
BAARAT Ambulance me jaye..!
SHAADI Hospital mein ho..!
PHOTO ki jagah X-ray liya jaye..!
Aur kya khub ho agar KHANE me Vitamin C & B ki goli di jaye..!
MEHMANO ko CHAY ya Cold Drink ki jagah Glucose & ORS diya jaye..!
DULHAN ke gale me haar ki jagah Stethoscope lagaya jaye..!!
Aur...
Maza to tab aye jab Dr. Shaadi ke baad bole...
"NEXT PLEASE!!!"
Little Jhonny: “But I Dont Know How To Pray?”
Dad: “Just Pray For Your Family Members, Friends And Neighbours, The Poor, Etc”
Little Jhonny Started The Prayer:
Dear Lord, Thank You For Our Visitors And Their Children
Who Finished All My Cookies And Ice Cream. Bless Them So they Wont Come Again.
Forgive Our Neighbor’s Son, Who Removed My Sister’s Clothes And Wrestled With Her On Her Bed.
This Coming Christmas, Please Send Clothes To All Those Poor Naked Ladies On My Daddy’s I-phone
And Provide Shelter For The Homeless Men Who Use Mom’s Room When Daddy Is At Work.
Amen
Dinner Was Cancelled
--
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. :/
Looks like I found a treasure
Credit for this to T159:
Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?" "Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"
Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect!
Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"
To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.
It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision
"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."
"As you desire," said God.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.
"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair.
"This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"
"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"
-
Doctor ki Shaadi kuch is tarah se honi chahiye...
MEHENDI ki jagah DETTOL solution istemal ho..!
BAARAT Ambulance me jaye..!
SHAADI Hospital mein ho..!
PHOTO ki jagah X-ray liya jaye..!
Aur kya khub ho agar KHANE me Vitamin C & B ki goli di jaye..!
MEHMANO ko CHAY ya Cold Drink ki jagah Glucose & ORS diya jaye..!
DULHAN ke gale me haar ki jagah Stethoscope lagaya jaye..!!
Aur...
Maza to tab aye jab Dr. Shaadi ke baad bole...
"NEXT PLEASE!!!"
Flash
Lost in speed
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear
“God Almighty!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” but Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again.
“Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted,
“If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear
“God Almighty!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” but Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again.
“Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted,
“If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half
Nipun
Whompy Whomperson
Flash
Lost in speed
I just Googled for Johnny and got that!Source: Same as my posts
So you want one PJ. Here it isthis thread is really funny. And these are not PJs
What do you say when u see a Microsoft engineer sleeps on the table with his face on top?
Microsoft-Sir-face.
Here's one from my side-
A man brought a young cock because his old cock was too old for his young hens to ferti.... errrr you know that.
The first day when the young cock came,
Old cock: If you have to take charge of my hens then you have to defeat me in a race tomorrow morning.
Young cock: Get ready to get out from here now. Tomorrow morning. OK
Now the old cock happened to be a marathon champion.
The next morning the race began. The old cock was leading the race and the young cock was behind him. Then suddenly bang And the young cock was dead.
The owner was standing and watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....
A man brought a young cock because his old cock was too old for his young hens to ferti.... errrr you know that.
The first day when the young cock came,
Old cock: If you have to take charge of my hens then you have to defeat me in a race tomorrow morning.
Young cock: Get ready to get out from here now. Tomorrow morning. OK
Now the old cock happened to be a marathon champion.
The next morning the race began. The old cock was leading the race and the young cock was behind him. Then suddenly bang And the young cock was dead.
The owner was standing and watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....
Last edited:
manojkrishnaks
Broken In
Here's one from my side-
The owner was watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....
Awesome
Flash
Lost in speed
In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on its head!"
Nipun
Whompy Whomperson
axes2t2
I am a cat
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
TheSloth
The Slowest One
Here's one from my side-
The owner was standing and watching all this and he said: What the f==k!!! What's wrong with the cocks of this town? This is the fourth gay cock I brought from the market....A man brought a young cock because his old cock was too old for his young hens to ferti.... errrr you know that.
The first day when the young cock came,
Old cock: If you have to take charge of my hens then you have to defeat me in a race tomorrow morning.
Young cock: Get ready to get out from here now. Tomorrow morning. OK
Now the old cock happened to be a marathon champion.
The next morning the race began. The old cock was leading the race and the young cock was behind him. Then suddenly bang And the young cock was dead.
I didn't understand. Anyone explain?
Please tell me what you didn't understand
