How's your social life/Help with social life.

[Vyom]

^^ Quite an interesting post there. I think this little "experiement" of yours has proved very educational.

I am wondering just one thing. Why did you have to leave "guitar" to become a "normal" guy? AFAIK, guitar sends even a fat "guy" into the arms of the girls!

 

[Psychosocial]

^^ Quite an interesting post there. I think this little "experiement" of yours has proved very educational.

I am wondering just one thing. Why did you have to leave "guitar" to become a "normal" guy? AFAIK, guitar sends even a fat "guy" into the arms of the girls!

I am a fat guy . For other people, i was still playing guiatr, i had just stopped practicing it coz i was too busy roaming and wasting time.

 

[Krow]

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

 

[tarey_g]

PPS: Anyone know a therapist in Pune?

Rainy season is coming, go out for trek with trekking groups. Best thing to do around Pune and best way to socialize.
Even though I am 90% in front of a computer on a normal day, I leave no chance of going out with friends/family. It is always hard for me to decide to go out with someone (I'd rather work\play on my computer). But whenever I do, its a 10 times better experience.

 

[Desmond]

Rainy season is coming, go out for trek with trekking groups. Best thing to do around Pune and best way to socialize.
Even though I am 90% in front of a computer on a normal day, I leave no chance of going out with friends/family. It is always hard for me to decide to go out with someone (I'd rather work\play on my computer). But whenever I do, its a 10 times better experience.

Indeed. But, I am not always in the mood. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort just to get up from the computer (or whatever I am doing). Not that I don't like outings, but I find it hard. Though, I admit that the few experiences that I have had were pretty rewarding. Though, I am still reluctant to go out because I still feel left out if there is a large group. And I find it really hard to break into a group that consists of more than 3 people, especially if it contains atleast one stranger.

Besides, I have been reading a book called "The Introvert Advantage" and I have learnt that being an introvert is a born condition, so there isn't really much I can do about it. Also that extroverts outnumber introverts 3:1, so everyone tends to think that the extrovert way is right since there are so many of them around.

 

[Liverpool_fan]

Socializing is overrated. Be happy yourself and keep people around you happy, that's the way it should be.

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

Was? Apun nahi yakin karta. Just kidding.

 

[Desmond]

I know i am late to post over here but thats only coz i want to share something. Since the last six months, i had completely transformed myself. I left everything i liked. Tech, gaming, metal, guitar, etc and became a normal guy. Trust me, its not hard to talk to people. Its very easy coz non-geeks are stupid. I learned how to talk to girls, i made a lot of new friends, hell i even bought a dam blackberry! But now i am regretting wasting the last six months of my life. All i did was roam around with my friends, sit around and waste time. Socialising is highly over-rated. People are selfish. People are horrible, disgusting and mostly stupid. The only good that came out of this whole cherade was that i learned how to talk to and manipulate girls. Otherwise it was time well wasted. Pardon my typos, i am online from my ipad and still havent got the hang of its virtual keyboard .

I cannot dream of giving up gaming, tech, metal and guitar, cause this is what is a part of me. If I give up metal, I'd go insane because I cannot stand all the pop culture and (c)rap. I understand that most people are stupid (look on FB). Even when I try to socialize, they all mostly talk about how that actor looks, how that actress dances, that actresses figure, etc. Topics I cannot fathom. So, I end up standing there utterly-silent looking like a jackass. They sometimes ask why I am so silent and I don't even have an answer to that. I cannot talk to girls very well either. When I try, my words stumble or my brain goes into deadlock.
Posted via Mobile Device

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

I don't think my life is one dimensional. Though I like to concentrate on one thing in my life at a time.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Psychosocial]

Trust me, metal, tech, comics, guitar, gaming, etc is way better than socialising. Since the last three weeks, i just dont feel like talking to anyone. I decline all invitations and i dont reply to most people on chat. I just talk to 3-4 people who i think are fun to hang out with and who i kinda trust.

And coming to girls, i am no expert but i can tell ye that they are nothing but trouble. I study in the most expensive school in the city. As a result, all the girls are mindless, spoilt *****es. They just want all your attention. In the last 3 months, i have had 3 relationships and now i am fed up of girls. All they do is *****, whine and lie. There seems to be nothing else in their lives. Sure, there might be some diamonds in the rough who i actually enjoy talking to but they arent the type that would be in a relationship with a guy like me.

 

[Kl@w-24]

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

Aaaaand the secret is out.

 

[AcceleratorX]

I don't know, I've not had particularly serious issues socializing. If anything, the only thing holding me back is my own reluctance. I guess "geeks" (not a term I actually like to use) prefer to play with things they are more familiar with (in this case, tech and computer related stuff).

Some of the stuff discussed here, such as problems holding a conversation, I have faced too, but it has not been an impedance. As far as conversations go, be a good listener, you don't have to talk all that much to be part of a group. When you do get an opportunity to talk, try to be witty and supportive (i.e. encourage people more, discourage less).

Oddly enough my current social group is 75% the opposite sex.

@Psychosocial: At your age both boys and girls have some preconceived notions about each other and girls are a bit more concerned about status and looks, which is why they may behave slightly uptight. I wouldn't worry about it but people are often not quite as bad as they may initially seem, a lot keep a shell outside and there's a different person inside

 

[rhitwick]

@Krow, Chennai changed you (in a good way). Apart from the pair of IEMs, you have brought something else from there, I'm sure.

And, you were never an unsocial. In our meets you were always talking and present with prompt answers.
I think you are in the right track to use ur intellect. Journalism.

 

[Faun]

I socialize like a miami zombie outbreak.

 

[Desmond]

All I want is the confidence to talk and for people to take me seriously. And most of all, recognize my talents.

I socialize like a miami zombie outbreak.

I take it that you are highly extroverted.

 

[Liverpool_fan]

I take it that you are highly extroverted.

lol..

 

[Desmond]

Edit: I've been reading a book "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney. This book has prompted me to think of everyone in terms of introversion and extroversion. It states that extroverts outnumber introverts 3:1. Therefore, everyone tends to judge everyone else depending upon the extrovert model or viewpoint of the world. This is what prompts introverts to wonder what's wrong with them.

It further states that introverts and extroverts get a "feel good" feeling by expending energy in different ways. While extroverts tend to expend energy on outdoor activities or socializing, which triggers dopamine in the brain, making them "feel good", introverts find socializing very taxing and tend to retreat. Also, introverts get a "feel good" when they are focused or contemplating deeply on something (among other factors).

Everyone has a varied degree of introversion or extroversion. That depends upon which part of the brain they tend to use:

-Left brained introverts are more calculating and logical, therefore they tend to be indifferent about their introversion and tend to judge things unemotionally and logically. The stereotypical geek image that we all know would be this kind.

-Right brained introverts are more artistically oriented. Those who are more into music, eloquence and art. Right brained introverts are more likely to be conscious about their introversion.

 

[Faun]

All I want is the confidence to talk and for people to take me seriously. And most of all, recognize my talents.

Good luck getting along with all that.

And stop reading shitty self improvement books.

I take it that you are highly extroverted.

to the limit that I start devouring the face of the person in front of me.

 

[KDroid]

Try to socialise. But avoid Artificial Behaviour. Respect the fact that all are not as intelligent as you are and they might be better than you at something else.

And most of all, recognize my talents.

For that, you'll have to learn to recognise other people's talents too. After all, you're not the only talented one.

 

[Nanducob]

I think the best advice on this thread is rhitwik's



absolutely true...just try to understand what type of people r around u and talk to them what they understand....If u go on talking about rooting an android and ICS with non-geeks they will certainly avoid u.
What I generally do is randomly change the topic if it doesnt suits my friend .... at least 1 topic will fit in...but then u should at least have some knowledge about everything

i beg to differ,the person that makes you the you is youyou cant fake your personality,may be u can show that youre lets say a funny guy or a talkative person for sometime but in the end youll return to what you were always.honestly speaking,i've tried to be "the guy everybody likes" to get girls in college and to get more friends,only to find that they liked the creepy guy inside me and im not saying they really liked creeepy guys but may be i was the only one theyve seen and that made me unique.if u think think that youre the one introvert person among those three extroverts get used to live with that and dont try to fake yourself.remember what kurt cobain said"its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your are not"


Also life has many ups and downs and may be youre going through a difficult time in your life,i think u should see a therapist coz i also suffered from what you described like anxiety,difficulty in talking to a group,stangers of people etc b.s

 

[Desmond]

For that, you'll have to learn to recognise other people's talents too. After all, you're not the only talented one.

I do, still no luck.

And stop reading shitty self improvement books.

That book not shitty. It has detailed explanations about my predicament in biological and psychological terms.

Also life has many ups and downs and may be youre going through a difficult time in your life,i think u should see a therapist coz i also suffered from what you described like anxiety,difficulty in talking to a group,stangers of people etc b.s

I am not sure if I need a therapist. Is there something like a test to determine if I do?
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[R2K]

The more I look at forum members, the more the number weirdos I see. I was one too until recently. Think about it, most members are one-dimensional. Tech is their life. There is not much else in it.

NOt only in this forum, every single person in this world is a weirdo if you look close enough. ...

I'm an introvert myself and I can't think of anything that would really help.
But I think the main reason for my " weirdness" is lack of people around me who look "interesting" to me