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pradipudhaya
Broken In
duhhh.. i am not a sardar//siddhartha// said:
rajesh_nk22
Journeyman
are sardars really dumb ones? have heard many jokes like this before.
niranjan_mcarenyold
Broken In
sardars are not dumbs, indeed they laugh for the jokes on them, because they know about the persons joking on them just wasting time finding faults in others instead of spending time on useful things.
if they consider this joke their time will waste in protecting india. because the punjab regiement is the powerful regiement in indian army
(meanwhile i am not at all a sardar and an army person)
if they consider this joke their time will waste in protecting india. because the punjab regiement is the powerful regiement in indian army
(meanwhile i am not at all a sardar and an army person)
rajesh_nk22
Journeyman
Ya i agree with niranjan, Sardars hamhare army ki shaan hai
rajat22
In the zone
Sardar Jokes .. Fresh Stock
1. Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."
Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
2.
4 hightech sardar inventions:
---Waterproof towel
---Solar powered torch
---Book on how to read
---Pedal powered wheel chair.
3. Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess
what
---To avoid side effect!!!
4. Sardar ke bagiche me bahut pedh the. Sardar ne naukar se bola pedho
ko
pani dal.
Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
sardar : abe budhu chatri pakdke dal na".
5.
Man:sardarji where were u born?
sardarji: punjab.
man: which part.
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
6. Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke
---Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir
gita
pe haath.
6. Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha
"akal badhi ya bhais "
Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".
8. Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door???
bcoz it was an
entrance
exam.
9.
Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a
swimming pool.
Banta: give him a glass of water.
10.
Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: really what is he studying?
santa: he is not studying they r studying him.
1. Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."
Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
2.
4 hightech sardar inventions:
---Waterproof towel
---Solar powered torch
---Book on how to read
---Pedal powered wheel chair.
3. Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess
what
---To avoid side effect!!!
4. Sardar ke bagiche me bahut pedh the. Sardar ne naukar se bola pedho
ko
pani dal.
Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
sardar : abe budhu chatri pakdke dal na".
5.
Man:sardarji where were u born?
sardarji: punjab.
man: which part.
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
6. Lawyer to sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke
---Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir
gita
pe haath.
6. Ek teacher ne sardar se puchha
"akal badhi ya bhais "
Sardar bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".
8. Why was sardarji writing the exam near the door???
bcoz it was an
entrance
exam.
9.
Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a
swimming pool.
Banta: give him a glass of water.
10.
Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: really what is he studying?
santa: he is not studying they r studying him.
Third Eye
gooby pls
THE JOKES THREAD !
PLEASE PUT YOUR ALL JOKES IN THIS THREAD !
The Sardar Jokes !
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
Sardar's son: Mom, kal raat ko wapas waisa hi hua. Bathroom jane ke liye darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi.
Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar.
Teacher: What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: what r u talking?
Sardar: sir, yesterday u said it is H to O!!
Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
Sardar: (to a friend)Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word padhe, aur woh bhi ulte!?
A friend asks sardar: how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally I wrote 'THUNK'!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh "Santa Darling, if we get engaged
will you give me a ring?"
"Sure" replied Santa "What's your phone number?"
* * * * * * *
Once Santa Singh, the psychiatrist, met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard
you are dead."
"But you see I'm alive," smiled the friend.
"Impossible," said Santa Singh. "The man who told me is much more reliable
than you."
* * * * * *
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked,
"Doctor, will I be able to read
after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy,
"I have been illiterate for so long."
* * * * * *
Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just
before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded
the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." Santa immediately
responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
* * * * * *
Mr. Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came
to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the
items.
Singh asked " Where is the fat ?"
The person didn't understand what Singh was saying and said, "Excuse me
sir, FAT???"
Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat"
Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered
and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked Sardar about the
problem. Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your
stores and it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me
the fat.
************
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
* * * * * *
KHALISTAN JOKES
Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa.
Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken.
International Airline: Kitthe Pacific.
National Airline: Itthe Pacific.
National Anthem: Sten-a gun-a man-a ..........
National Taxi Service: Kar Seva.
National song: Bande marte hum.
Female terrorist: Hard Kaur.
National dish: AKALI-DAAL.
Sikh scuba diver: JULL-UNDER SINGH.
Better adapted sikh diver: JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardarji went to US & had a meeting with Bill
Clinton.
Bill : I want to show you the US advancement.
come with me. (He takes him in a deep forest)
Bill : Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)
Bill : more..more..more...
(Sardarji went upto 100 feet)
Bill : So now , try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago
we used to have telephones.
( Sardarji became frustrated.)
He invited Bill to india. Next year Bill had been
in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement.
(the same, he takes Bill in forest.)
Sardar : dig it .
(Bill does.)
Sardar : more ..more ..more .......... (Bill goes
upto almost 400 feet..)
Sardarji : try to find something.
(Bill tries.)
Sardarji : did you get anything ?
Bill : no.
Sardarji : yes, even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh saw that his friend Banta Singh was very
depressed.
"What Happened?" asked Banta.
"Yaar, I lost Rs.800 in a bet yesterday" replied
Banta.
"How Come?" asked Santa.
"well yesterday,the one day match between india and
england was being shown live on tv. I bet Rs.500 that
india would win, but i lost the bet"
"But that only 500"exclaimed Santa."Where did the rest
go?"
" Yaar, I bet on the highlights,too!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh was in court charges with parking his car
in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had
anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices" said
Banta.
" It said ' Fine for Parking here'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An englishman, an american and Santa were called upon
to test a lie detector.
The Englishman said, Ican drink 20 bottles of beer ,
The detector went BUZZZZZZZ. Okay he said 10 bottles.
The machine was silent.
The american said, i can eat 15 Hamburgers, the
detector went BUZZZZZ. Okay he said 8 Burgers. The
Machine was silent.
Then Comes Santa, He said " I THINK ......"
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ went the machine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once Banta had this ides that he would prove that
sardars are always normal at 12 o'clock. So he called
a press conference. He placed a big wall clock in the
hall and invited 100 Sardars there to test their
reaction. Time went by, and there was no reaction from
the sardars.
finally, there was only one minute left.
The media agog in anticipation of the breakthrough
they were about to witness.
Exactly a minute later, one sardar got up and asked, "
Saddi choti sui Kithe Gayi ( Where has our small hand
gone)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Chennai Banta singh went to shop at Burma Bazaar.
His Tamilian friend told him things at the bazaar were
overpriced and he would do well to bargain for half
the price quoted by the shopkeeper.
Banta admired a stereo at ashop and asked the man its
price.
" Rs.2,000" said the shopkeeper.
" Rs.1,000" Said Banta.
" Rs.1,800" said the shopkeeper.
" Rs.900 " said Banta.
" Okay, I'll give it to you for Rs.1500 said the
shopkeeper.
No said banta Rs.750
Irritated finally , the shopkeeper told Banta to just
take the stereo and go he would give it to him for
free.
" Make It Two", said Banta.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE PUT YOUR ALL JOKES IN THIS THREAD !
The Sardar Jokes !
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
Sardar's son: Mom, kal raat ko wapas waisa hi hua. Bathroom jane ke liye darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi.
Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar.
Teacher: What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: what r u talking?
Sardar: sir, yesterday u said it is H to O!!
Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.
Sardar: (to a friend)Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word padhe, aur woh bhi ulte!?
A friend asks sardar: how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally I wrote 'THUNK'!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh "Santa Darling, if we get engaged
will you give me a ring?"
"Sure" replied Santa "What's your phone number?"
* * * * * * *
Once Santa Singh, the psychiatrist, met a friend and exclaimed, "I heard
you are dead."
"But you see I'm alive," smiled the friend.
"Impossible," said Santa Singh. "The man who told me is much more reliable
than you."
* * * * * *
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked,
"Doctor, will I be able to read
after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy,
"I have been illiterate for so long."
* * * * * *
Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just
before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded
the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." Santa immediately
responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
* * * * * *
Mr. Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came
to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the
items.
Singh asked " Where is the fat ?"
The person didn't understand what Singh was saying and said, "Excuse me
sir, FAT???"
Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat"
Sardar started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered
and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked Sardar about the
problem. Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your
stores and it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me
the fat.
************
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
* * * * * *
KHALISTAN JOKES
Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa.
Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken.
International Airline: Kitthe Pacific.
National Airline: Itthe Pacific.
National Anthem: Sten-a gun-a man-a ..........
National Taxi Service: Kar Seva.
National song: Bande marte hum.
Female terrorist: Hard Kaur.
National dish: AKALI-DAAL.
Sikh scuba diver: JULL-UNDER SINGH.
Better adapted sikh diver: JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardarji went to US & had a meeting with Bill
Clinton.
Bill : I want to show you the US advancement.
come with me. (He takes him in a deep forest)
Bill : Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)
Bill : more..more..more...
(Sardarji went upto 100 feet)
Bill : So now , try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago
we used to have telephones.
( Sardarji became frustrated.)
He invited Bill to india. Next year Bill had been
in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement.
(the same, he takes Bill in forest.)
Sardar : dig it .
(Bill does.)
Sardar : more ..more ..more .......... (Bill goes
upto almost 400 feet..)
Sardarji : try to find something.
(Bill tries.)
Sardarji : did you get anything ?
Bill : no.
Sardarji : yes, even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh saw that his friend Banta Singh was very
depressed.
"What Happened?" asked Banta.
"Yaar, I lost Rs.800 in a bet yesterday" replied
Banta.
"How Come?" asked Santa.
"well yesterday,the one day match between india and
england was being shown live on tv. I bet Rs.500 that
india would win, but i lost the bet"
"But that only 500"exclaimed Santa."Where did the rest
go?"
" Yaar, I bet on the highlights,too!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh was in court charges with parking his car
in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had
anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices" said
Banta.
" It said ' Fine for Parking here'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An englishman, an american and Santa were called upon
to test a lie detector.
The Englishman said, Ican drink 20 bottles of beer ,
The detector went BUZZZZZZZ. Okay he said 10 bottles.
The machine was silent.
The american said, i can eat 15 Hamburgers, the
detector went BUZZZZZ. Okay he said 8 Burgers. The
Machine was silent.
Then Comes Santa, He said " I THINK ......"
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ went the machine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once Banta had this ides that he would prove that
sardars are always normal at 12 o'clock. So he called
a press conference. He placed a big wall clock in the
hall and invited 100 Sardars there to test their
reaction. Time went by, and there was no reaction from
the sardars.
finally, there was only one minute left.
The media agog in anticipation of the breakthrough
they were about to witness.
Exactly a minute later, one sardar got up and asked, "
Saddi choti sui Kithe Gayi ( Where has our small hand
gone)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Chennai Banta singh went to shop at Burma Bazaar.
His Tamilian friend told him things at the bazaar were
overpriced and he would do well to bargain for half
the price quoted by the shopkeeper.
Banta admired a stereo at ashop and asked the man its
price.
" Rs.2,000" said the shopkeeper.
" Rs.1,000" Said Banta.
" Rs.1,800" said the shopkeeper.
" Rs.900 " said Banta.
" Okay, I'll give it to you for Rs.1500 said the
shopkeeper.
No said banta Rs.750
Irritated finally , the shopkeeper told Banta to just
take the stereo and go he would give it to him for
free.
" Make It Two", said Banta.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Third Eye
gooby pls
OTHER JOKES !
Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
starrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare
kabze mein hai .......
Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara
to Pain se mar jayega.
Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko
teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez
hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko
panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly
fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area
hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska
dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge
to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"
Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit
bhi jayega
Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do
ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
ticket dete-dete thak jayega.
Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
bhi aa jaayegi.
Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out
lik do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale
jayega !!
Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
A pause.....
Tum chootti le lo.
Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.
Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
Ajeet: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
Ajeet: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har
teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.
Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss ?
Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
Ajeet : Nomore !
Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
Ajeet : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide
hua hai.
Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Robert: kyu boss ?
Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.
Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
starrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare
kabze mein hai .......
Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara
to Pain se mar jayega.
Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko
teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez
hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko
panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly
fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area
hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska
dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge
to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"
Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit
bhi jayega
Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do
ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
(cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
ticket dete-dete thak jayega.
Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
bhi aa jaayegi.
Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko
Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out
lik do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale
jayega !!
Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
A pause.....
Tum chootti le lo.
Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.
Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
Ajeet: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
Ajeet: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har
teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.
Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
Raabert: Stool, boss ?
Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
Ajeet : Nomore !
Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
Ajeet : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide
hua hai.
Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
Robert: kyu boss ?
Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.
Third Eye
gooby pls
HELLO !
Other Sardar Jokes !
PLEASE POST YOUR OWN JOKES HERE !
The Sardar Jokes !
One day Santa Singh climbed up a building, which had 200 floors.
One of Santa's friend called him- Banta your son is dead.
When he heard this he came down. But when he came down on the 100th storey then he remembered- aree I have no son, and when he came on 50th storey he remembered- aree I'm not married.
And when he came down on the last storey, then he remembered his name is Santa and not Banta.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied. ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who you are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! You know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! You know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says Hi,
Main Bol Raha Hoon.
The other sardar replies Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!
Boss tells his new employee, "Santa Singh, I'll give you 10 bucks an hour
starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 20 bucks an hour. So
when would you like to start?"Santa replied, "In 3 months."
ik sardar jee se ek aadmeen poocha akal badhee yah bhens tu sardar jee thodha sochne ke baad bole pehleh dono ki umer batao phir batoonga
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, ''Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?''
''Haan'' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and
the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can
sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets
hot all I have to do is roll down the window."
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said ''I''m 1yr elder to you''.
Sardar said ''Oh! No Problem Soniye, I''ll marry you NEXT YEAR.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How''ll U divide, Ur 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! Well apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: I'm writing a letter to my 6 yr old son, he can''t read very fast.
Flash news: A Two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
Other Sardar Jokes !
PLEASE POST YOUR OWN JOKES HERE !
The Sardar Jokes !
One day Santa Singh climbed up a building, which had 200 floors.
One of Santa's friend called him- Banta your son is dead.
When he heard this he came down. But when he came down on the 100th storey then he remembered- aree I have no son, and when he came on 50th storey he remembered- aree I'm not married.
And when he came down on the last storey, then he remembered his name is Santa and not Banta.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied. ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who you are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! You know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! You know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says Hi,
Main Bol Raha Hoon.
The other sardar replies Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!
Boss tells his new employee, "Santa Singh, I'll give you 10 bucks an hour
starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 20 bucks an hour. So
when would you like to start?"Santa replied, "In 3 months."
ik sardar jee se ek aadmeen poocha akal badhee yah bhens tu sardar jee thodha sochne ke baad bole pehleh dono ki umer batao phir batoonga
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, ''Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?''
''Haan'' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and
the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can
sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets
hot all I have to do is roll down the window."
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said ''I''m 1yr elder to you''.
Sardar said ''Oh! No Problem Soniye, I''ll marry you NEXT YEAR.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How''ll U divide, Ur 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! Well apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: I'm writing a letter to my 6 yr old son, he can''t read very fast.
Flash news: A Two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
gary4gar
GaurishSharma.com
~~HoMur & Refreashment Thread~~
i sometimes get bored with tons of tech news and search for some homurous & sooding news for a time refrashment.in this section members can post
1) email forwards
2) jokes
3) funny news & anything
members should feel to share the homur in this thread
Note:it should be suitable for all ages
To begin with here some student teacher Jokes
--------------------------------------------
=====
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
=====
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colours do you have?"
=====
My grand-father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
=====
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
=====
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed again?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
=====
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
=====
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
=====
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
=====
i sometimes get bored with tons of tech news and search for some homurous & sooding news for a time refrashment.in this section members can post
1) email forwards
2) jokes
3) funny news & anything
members should feel to share the homur in this thread
Note:it should be suitable for all ages
To begin with here some student teacher Jokes
--------------------------------------------
=====
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
=====
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colours do you have?"
=====
My grand-father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
=====
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
=====
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed again?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
=====
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
=====
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
=====
Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
=====
MysticHalo
Your Maker.
Re: ~~HoMur & Refreashment Thread~~
Good JOB...nice simple (short) jokes
~~~~~
PS:I wud rep u if they'll make me laugh...
Good JOB...nice simple (short) jokes
~~~~~
PS:I wud rep u if they'll make me laugh...
QwertyManiac
Commander in Chief
Re: Think.... Tring Tring .... wat goes tring a ring ?
Huh, I guess you confused yourself into posting this LP ....... (Hmm, just to confuse you more, LP here isnt Linkin Park, its your post, LAME POST)
Huh, I guess you confused yourself into posting this LP ....... (Hmm, just to confuse you more, LP here isnt Linkin Park, its your post, LAME POST)
MysticHalo
Your Maker.
Re: Think.... Tring Tring .... wat goes tring a ring ?
still cant understand what he was trying to prove...anyways...where is the telephone?
ROFLQwertyManiac said:Huh, I guess you confused yourself into posting this LP ....... (Hmm, just to confuse you more, LP here isnt Linkin Park, its your post, LAME POST)
still cant understand what he was trying to prove...anyways...where is the telephone?
- Status