Share Your Computer Jokes Here

How do you like the jokes in this topic ??


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What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
 
Some New Error Messages Planned for Microsoft Windows XP !!!

1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4) Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9) Windows message: You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?
10) This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log out"
11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.
14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot BJP? (Y/N)
15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
17) Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
1 Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
19) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.
20) User Error: Replace user.
21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)"
22) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
 

sid_ashok

Broken In
instead of pasting from other sites please give me the source i will see it my self.
Any ways great jokes
 

SWEET SNEHA

Journeyman
Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out Of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective." Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker to the right side of the machine and vice versa." Customer: (sputter) (click) Tech Support: (snicker)


This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard." A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."


Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"


Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"


Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"


I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.


Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"


I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"


Some people pay for their on-line services with checks made payable to "The Internet."


Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."


Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to -- "Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?" Customer: [click]


Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work." Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship. Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
 

Vyasram

The pWnster
seen it way back in digit/c**p

a guy calls a technican and says that his hard drive had crashed

technician asks him whether he had backed up

the guy backs away from his pc and asks, "why is it gonna blow"
 
a real life incident

some months back my comp didnt have proper earthing, so when you touch some places in the cabinet you may get a small shock.

my frnd came to my place last month, and the earthing was proper. he didnt know that, so he asked me if he would still receive the shock. so i touched the cabinet, i got no shock, and so i told him to touch it. he was a person who easily got scared. so he brought his hand near the cabinet slowly, and just when he was about to touch it i shouted"booooooooo". that guy got so frightened he fell outta the chair ROTFLOL that was the funniest incident

from the next day at school he was afraid to do the "ohms law" experiment lol
 

Vyasram

The pWnster
had billy been the icc president, what wd he have done

He wd have make a rule that a team must declare if it reaches 640
 

Retro

Journeyman
techno_junkie said:
You know you are an Internet Junkie when...

You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.
You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.
You know the difference between Java and Javascript.

This is quite old dude
1) Netscape 4.7 and not Firefox or Opera?? Blatant ripping.. You need to credit the source though!
2) You know the difference between Java and Javascript?

BTW Nice jokes but as someone said, do credit the source, they spent a lot of time making them up!
 

readermaniax

Ambassador of Buzz
Think.... Tring Tring .... wat goes tring a ring ?

Ques. 1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer

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A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......
*i39.photobucket.com/albums/e157/fatalh4xor/Showteeth.gif
Anyways... Here s one more....

Ques 2
: What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer (Yes Thats What u should be doing... )

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The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......
*i39.photobucket.com/albums/e157/fatalh4xor/smile.gif
Anyways... Here s one more....
Ques 3 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer (Yes Yes Go On.. )
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A CAKE .... and both were to confuse you....
*i39.photobucket.com/albums/e157/fatalh4xor/laugh.gif
Anyways... Here's one more....

Ques 4 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????

Scroll Down for answer ( Are u so lame that I have to tell this ..)

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A Fire Brigade Obviously...........


*i39.photobucket.com/albums/e157/fatalh4xor/cry.gif
And u Thought I was trying to Confuse You ................
 

Dumbledore

Journeyman
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great post!!
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Where are you finding these mumbai police and this article?
 

pradipudhaya

Broken In
Sardarji in a Quiz contest

Sardarji in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.



The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?



A) 116

B) 99

C) 100

D) 150



Sardar says "I will skip this"



2) In which country are the Panama hats made?


A) BRASIL

B) CHILE

C) PANAMA

D) EQUADOR



Sardar asks for help from the University students




3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?



A) JANUARY

B) SEPTEMBER

C) OCTOBER

D) NOVEMBER


Sardar asks for help from general public



4) Which of these was King George VI first name?



A) EDER

B) ALBERT

C) GEORGE

D) MANOEL


Sardar asks for lucky cards



5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:



A) CANARY BIRD

B) KANGAROO

C) PUPPY

D) RAT


Sardar gives up.







If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's

replies, then please check the answers below:



1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again
 

mehulved

18 Till I Die............
Well sardar's(by sardar's I mean idiots) too have brains only that they use it sometimes.
BTW I got 3 right.I guess that's not bad.
 

Jatin_T

Journeyman
Man..have read this so many time bfore..even in my stupid col mag..and they copied it from last years college mag of guess wat..our college...

But connecting them facts to Sardar was not needed!
 
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