Poor Jokes Thread

Desmond

Desmond

Destroy Erase Improve
Staff member
Admin
Nanducob said:
Man i never thought you would pull out these kind of jokes,not because of fart,but the joke felt 'muddy':p if you know what i mean.
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You mean "soiled"?

New one :

Asian Keanu arrives at party.

Asian Keanu gets bored.

Asian Keanu Reeves.
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Also one of the best anti-jokes I found :

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar is closed for the rest of the day. Jesus walks up to the bar, but it's closed for hygiene reasons and he goes next door to a hotel. He hands the receptionist a couple of nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?" The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender. After Jesus leaves disgruntledly, a duck that has been kind of harrassing the receptionist for the last few days by asking for grapes waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed. He jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar. The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing **** long enough to ask "Is this some kind of a joke?"
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prehistoricgamer

prehistoricgamer

Q.C Passed. Tested. OK
Probably old, but one of the PJs I still remember that i facepalmed so hard to. :-D

What did the male chimney say to the female chimney?

You are so hot

What did the female chimney say to the male chimney?

HOW THE FCK SHUD I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT CHIMNEYS? Ask the chimneys
 
sling-shot

sling-shot

Wise Old Owl
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also, to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still couldn't? Then see below.........

Think hard

Common.............

Tired....?

Wanna know the answer????

Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!
 
Nanducob

Nanducob

Wise Old Owl
A Guy in a hurry used the
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel..


He sat down and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR...








Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!








He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it...,








He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh.
Feeling pampered..,








He decided to press the last button APR.








He later woke up in a
hospital
















A Nurse smiled & said to
him "Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.








Your balls are in the jar
over there
 
sling-shot

sling-shot

Wise Old Owl
One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.




Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.





Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole


Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse,


"Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of Lord Ram?"





Mickey Mouse cannot.





Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me...what


was the capital of Ram's kingdom!"





Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.





Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and MickeyMouse


goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the


wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to


end....





How did this happen???








SCROLL DOWN


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Think Think....


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Ok


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After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes





Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)...
 
Desmond

Desmond

Destroy Erase Improve
Staff member
Admin
sling-shot said:
One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.




Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.





Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole


Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse,


"Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of Lord Ram?"





Mickey Mouse cannot.





Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me...what


was the capital of Ram's kingdom!"





Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.





Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and MickeyMouse


goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the


wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to


end....





How did this happen???








SCROLL DOWN


:::


:::


:::


:::


:::


:::


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:::


:::


:::


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Think Think....


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Ok


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-








After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes





Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)...
Click to expand...

Actually is Dolan.
 
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