Re: The Humour Thread
Here is a better Hotle California
HOTEL KARNALOFONIA
On the dark GT highway
Pagdi patka in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a ttharra joint
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint
There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be Devinder Singh Behl
Then he belched, and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning from their truck car doors
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Massage, manicure, pedicure at Karnal-a-fonia
Any kind of ear (any kind of ear)
You can clean it here
His car's grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti-Benz
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet
So I told the bell captain
I's made a reservation online
And he said, oye khoteyya our internet hasnt worked at all Since Y2K - 1999
And still those drivers were calling from the drive way
Woke me in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say
Welcome to the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Itthey karlo rest (itthey karlo rest)
Itthey karlo r Aish karo at the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Kudi umr bais (kudi umr bais)
Will serve you nice
Daler on the ceiling
And on the walls in every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill
Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you cant ever leave
So here I am,
Wasting life at the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
__________
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my b! edroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me. I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is:
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"Always keep your condoms in the car"
__________
Once there was this man, working in a lighthouse all one on a lonely island.The island was 100's of miles from the mainland, and completely deserted.One fine day, he sees a shipwreck on the horizon.Through his telescope, he sees that all the sailors die except one who manages to swim ashore.Feeling pity on this man, the man in the light house decides to help him out.So he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where the sailor had landed.On reaching the person, he realised that the man was on the edge of death...so as a last wish the sailor asks for one last wish to be granted.The man from the lighthouse agrees and asks him what does he want as his last wish.The sailor asks for a bowl of chicken soup.The man is kinda puzzled, but agrees.So he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.He prepares chicken soup up in his cabin in the lighthouse.Then he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where the sailor had landed.He gives him the chicken soup he prepared, and then after having the soup, the man dies.The person feels pity on him ,and buries him.After burying him, he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.
The next day, he sees another shipwreck on the horizon.Through his telescope, he sees that all the sailors die except one who manages to swim ashore.So he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where this sailor had landed.On reaching the person, he realised that this man was also at the edge of death...so as a last wish this sailor too asks for one last wish to be granted.The man from the lighthouse agrees and asks him what does he want as his last wish.The sailor asks for a bowl of prawn soup.The man is now really puzzled, but agrees.So he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.He prepares prawn soup up in his cabin in the lighthouse.Then he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where the sailor had landed.He gives him the prawn soup he prepared, and then after having the soup, the man dies.The person feels pity on him ,and buries him.After burying him, he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.
The next day, he sees another shipwreck on the horizon.Through his telescope, he again sees that all the sailors die except one who amazingly manages to swim ashore.So he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where the sailor had landed.On reaching the person, he realised that this man was also at the edge of death...so as a last wish this sailor too asks for one last wish to be granted.The man from the lighthouse agrees and asks him what does he want as his last wish.The sailor asks for a bowl of chicken soup.The man is now completely puzzled, but agrees with some hesitation.So he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.He prepares chicken soup up in his cabin in the lighthouse.Then he climbs all the way down the spiral stairs, after that he crosses the long pathway that leads to the beach, and then walks all the way to the end of the beach where the sailor had landed.He give him the chicken soup he prepared, and then after having the soup, the man dies.The person feels pity on him ,and buries him.After burying him, he goes all the way back up the beach, then all the way up the pathway, and all the way up the spiral staircase.
What is the moral of the story??
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Moral: Chicken soup is more popular than prawn soup.