Inter-Religion Marriage possible??

[sujoyp]

Hi guys,
This thread is a bit serious one ....soo I hope to get some relevant suggestions from friends of both communities .

I know its an IT forum...but I have nowhere to ask...most people will avoid an answer or reject the idea completely without any logic.

Actually I am doing my IT job in bangladesh for a indian company...and bangladesh is a Muslim majority country ...but still a secular country.

Now I started liking a muslim girl very much in our client company...She is just perfect...I talk to her daily...but she is not too free in talking cause I am equivalent to position of her boss's boss

I am a originally from this side of bengal before partition...and I have no problem communicating and mixing up with bangladeshi people.

As I am 29 and settled in job , my parents have started looking for my partner....

I know after wards I may have to tell lie to whole community about her relegion...but I have no issues with any religion...I am clean at heart..My parents may also accept her...

the question is ....Should I go ahead ....Going ahead means tell her...ask parents clearly...make it possible..

Or leave it as an infatuation /crush ....

 

[Hrishi]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

As long as the family of the lady has no objection on it and you have complete support and agreeent of your family , there should be no harm in it.
But just make sure that she has no problems with your religion , and you don't have any problems with her religion.

However , to be honest , some of the members in society will always think negatively.So you'll have to deal with them.

 

[vickybat]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

Sujoy i don't know but you have to ask this question to yourself than others. You can't take crucial decisions in your life based on others opinions mate.

Infatuation is basically one sided, but when its both sided ( to and fro communication), then its simply love.

If you are sure about everything and parents agree too, then there shouldn't be any problem. Religion does not come between love.
But make sure you do a full background check, like her family and probably everything about her ( be a detective ).

If everything's clear, take the ultimate decision of your life.

 

[sujoyp]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

I am not afraid of those some people...but dont want my parents to suffer anything...

Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents

I am in bangladesh and we r talking about a girl of different country...i cant be a detective here...I have thought of asking a common person who is a good fellow...but then it will be out that I like her...

I am not asking for a decesion...I just want a opinion from our generation...

 

[vickybat]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

But y is that most people dont object on hindu-christian ..hindu-sikh...hindu-buddhist etc marriage .....y people see it soo complicated with hindu-muslim

I am not afraid of those some people...but dont want my parents to suffer anything...

Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents

If you have doubts and care about society, then i guess you have to put brakes. There are always different sentiments attached with the muslim community.
What about her? Is there an indication that she likes you?

 

[icebags]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

there will be rituals, there will be habits and lifestyles are you sure both mian-bibi will have no problem ?
not to forget, a full background check is a must.

 

[vickybat]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

Also I am the only son with no bro or sis....soo more responsibility of parents

I am in bangladesh and we r talking about a girl of different country...i cant be a detective here...I have thought of asking a common person who is a good fellow...but then it will be out that I like her...

I am not asking for a decesion...I just want a opinion from our generation...

Same here.

Ok buddy coming from someone like me, if there is true love between you two and both care about each other, then it should be a "go ahead" call.
But remember, it should be both ways in order to work. Be sure it isn't one -sided.

I don't care about community either, but you do have to think about everything. I think you should not involve a "third person" here.

Do you text her often??

 

[Extreme Gamer]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

Sujoy, I think you should do what your heart tells you, and not any of us (what a contradiction, lol). If the feeling is mutual, go ahead.

You should realize that it is you who will spend the remaining time of your life with that girl, and not your parents (in the sense that you have 30 years more with her than your parents do), or your relatives, or other people you know.

If all else fails, you both could stop being hindus and muslims. instead become non-religious (believe in god but not in a particular faith).

 

[CommanderShawnzer]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

Sujoy i don't know but you have to ask this question to yourself than others. You can't take crucial decisions in your life based on others opinions mate.

Infatuation is basically one sided, but when its both sided ( to and fro communication), then its simply love.

If you are sure about everything and parents agree too, then there shouldn't be any problem. Religion does not come between love.
But make sure you do a full background check, like her family and probably everything about her ( be a detective ).

If everything's clear, take the ultimate decision of your life.

+1
What if one day she steals all your dough and jumps the border to "Border-jumper Country"
No offense

 

[sujoyp]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@vicky ....It wont be a love marrige but kind of love cum arrange one ....if it was love I would have break all the laws created by human

its like i will get married in a year then y not someone of my choice

@icebags ....u forgot we both will be bengalies ..I am indian bengali and she bangladeshi bengali....food habits are same...rituals r different...but I see here girls watch lots of hindi serials...kuch to seekha hoga ekta kapoor ke serial se

lifestyle is also different...but that can be matched

ok background check....I will try to find about her as soon as possible...it seems I need to fix a secret meeting with someone

 

[Kl@w-24]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

1. First of all, get to know her feelings. If she doesn't feel the same way then abort mission.

2. If she reciprocates, get to know her properly (not just likes and dislikes, but religious views, family background etc.)

3. You'll be moving back to India when your work in B'desh is done. Would she be willing to move and would her parents agree to their daughter being in another country?

4. Would your parents agree to having a daughter-in-law from not just another religion but from a different country altogether? You know them best, so only you can answer this.

5. Would she be able to adjust to a completely different culture? If not, it could cause problems in the future if/when you two get married.

Think hard.

 

[sujoyp]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@vicky...no I dont text her...but we talk eye to eye mostly i mean face-2-face ....3rd person is necessary...he is the boss's boss...and I know him well ...

@extreme gamer .....hummm let me check my heart again

@commander u r right in every sense


@Kl@w-24 u have put all the difficult questions before me which i knew will come sooner or later...

ok if she dosnt likes me in that way..but i like her...thats what we do in arrange marriges...2 goats tied togather
the answers to ur question come after i go ahead..

ok friends soo we have
1. Background check
2. find the answers

Thanks for encouragemnets ....I think all will be well....

 

[Kl@w-24]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@Kl@w-24 u have put all the difficult questions before me which i knew will come sooner or later...

ok if she dosnt likes me in that way..but i like her...thats what we do in arrange marriges...2 goats tied togather
the answers to ur question come after i go ahead..

Yes, because there's no running away from them. Give it your best shot. Good luck!

 

[vickybat]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@vicky ....It wont be a love marrige but kind of love cum arrange one ....if it was love I would have break all the laws created by human

its like i will get married in a year then y not someone of my choice .

Well sujoy, finding women of your choice is always difficult. If you ditch this one, then finding another doesn't have a fixed amount of time frame. It can be 6 months, 1 year or maybe more.
If you are trying your luck here, here's what to do but ......only after a thorough background check. You can take any means you see fit.
After everything is clear then take the following steps:

1. Obtain her number somehow. ( Afterall, you're her boss's boss. )

2. Try to make her more involved in your type of work, so that a communication is always possible.

3. If not, then get yourself involved somehow around her area. The idea is to get closer.

4. Once you start talking, notice her body language in order to point out, how free she really is.

5. Once that happens, start telling about your hobbies, show her your amazing photography works and all creative things you've done.
This is how you should have a good impression in her. Side by side, make her feel safe around you. No other unnecessary movements required here.

6. Finally start texting her often and watch the bond grow. Tell her jokes, events and sometimes take it up a bit to the naughty side.
Remember degree of naughtiness has to be minimal here.

7. Then slowly start talking with here via phone. Slowly make it last longer.

8. Then comes the time to take her out, you know some odd movies or a small dinner at restaurant. Keep it basic.

9. When everything falls in place, ask her out and tell your feelings about her.

10. The final response from her side will decide it all. But till this point, you would have known the answer all along.
So this step can be optional.

All of this should take 3 months or longer. Don't rush at all.
There you go, i guess i gave all my opinions.

 

[sujoyp]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@vicky ur idea is brillient....but I tell u here people dont have time....she travels 2 + 2 hrs for office ...still i took her for pizza once and took some of her pics there and she sits just in my next cubical...soo i can always call or talk to her...thats not a problem

 

[vickybat]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

^^ So start from step 4 then. And always remember to go slow. If your heart kinda beats for her, then its upto you to make the same happen in her.
You know what to do , so start asap.

 

[Faun]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

To make a girl love you, you must treat her like a princess. And the most important part is to listen to her, understand her and empathize her in things where she needs support. You don't have to provide a solution, she is not looking for solution but someone who can share her feelings. Be courteous. Don't just talk about yourself, that's not what a girl is looking for. She wants someone to hear her out.

Jokes are good ice breakers too but that's all about it.

You can involve her more by asking her opinion/advice about things you want to do. But remember the first para still holds more priority, listen to her, understand her.

Girls love gifts at the most unexpected moments (giving gift on birthday is boring). So do surprise her with that. Gift can be related to her hobby or interest.

Don't try to restrict her freedom or intrude more.

Once the thread is thick enough, then you can take things for granted but not so granted. You can talk about yourself and be more informal, can share few secrets too that you would with a trusting person.

Also, you will have to change your faith. That I am pretty sure. Her parents will agree with much less effort then.

If you won't get a life partner out of her somehow, you will still end up with a good trusting friend. Just take things easy.

 

[Thunder]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

^Someone give this guy a medal

 

[thetechfreak]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

Maybe give her the link to this thread?

PS: I'm really bad with girls and stuff

Jokes apart, what will be the biggest issue will be the convince your and her parents IMO. Do a full background check, don't make any decision in haste(find if the girl herself has any plans of getting married with someone)

 

[rhitwick]

Re: Inter-Religion Merrige possible??

@Sujoy,
dude, wait before you could start thinking about marriage. Marriage is the final step. Go slow, go step by step.

Till now I got that you like this girl and you have no idea about her feelings.

Before even going to feelings, get comfortable with her. Start talking (and as someone suggested involve her in some activities with you), ask her opinion about things etc...gist show her that her opinion is important to you. All this time a rapport is supposed to be developed with her.
You would by now have a good idea if you are liking spending time with her or talking with her. This is important. If in this short time she starts boring you....abort!

Very soon you would need to ask a question yourself, is she the one? How would you decide that? Well, I guess till now you have a fair idea what qualities you want in a girl and what not.
If the answer is yes to that question that she was the one for you, then comes the most important question, "am I ready to do anything for her?" Well, we all say we can do anything for my gal but we all have our restrictions, do check which boundaries you won't cover in any condition and if situation comes question yourself if she's worth it?

Why all such questions arising? She's of different community, practice a different religion (you might be cool with it but think about your parents and the society you would be living with her later), moreover a different country (need to check with migration laws of our country and Bangladesh)

Bhai, let me tell you...standing here you have two options. Live a predictable life where you know what the next steps are or jump to uncertainity---this could be challenging, tough, at times you would ask if you are doing the right thing. Here the answers to that questions (If she's the one and if you can do anything for her) come into play.

Think properly.

There is another way though which I've started believing to be true. Don't think anything, nothing at all. Just fall in love and let life take its own course.