Share All Your Jokes Here ! [warning: some jokes may not be family friendly]

max_demon

max_demon

IM AS MAD AS HELL!!
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

कंप्यूटर लव स्टोरी
Computer Love Story

अभी अभी तो प्यार का पीसी किया है चालू
अपने दिल के हार्ड डिस्क पे और कितनी फाइल्स डालू
अपने चहरे से रुसवाई का एर्रोर तो हटाओ
ई जानेमन अपने दिल का पासवर्ड तो बताओ
वोह तो हम है जो आप की चाहत दिल में रखते है
वरना आप जैसे सोफ्त्वारेस तो बाज़ार में बिकते है
रोज़ रात आप मेरे सपने में आती हो
मेरे प्यार का माउस बना के उँगलियों पे नाचते हो
तेरे प्यार का ईमेल मेरे दिल को लुभाता है
पर बिच्च में तेरे बाप का वायरस आ जता है
और करवाओगे हमसे कितना इन्तेजार
हमारे दिल के साईट पे कभी इंटर तो मरो यार
अपने इन्सुल्ट का बदला देखो कैसे लूँगा
जानेमन तेरे बाप को शिफ्ट डिलीट कर दूँगा
आपके नखरे अपने दिल पे बंग हो गए
दो पीसी जुड़ते जुड़ते हंग हो गए
आप जैसे के लिया दिल को कट दिया करते है
वरना बाकी केसेस में तो कॉपी पेस्ट किया करते है
आपका हँसना आप का चलना आप की वोह स्टाइल
आपके अदाओं की हमने सेव है कर ली फाइल.
 
abhi_10_20

abhi_10_20

Cool and Calm
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

*img519.imageshack.us/img519/5017/10ekhvnhz7.jpg
*img519.imageshack.us/img519/5017/10ekhvnhz7.5bf4f623aa.jpg
 
Ethan_Hunt

Ethan_Hunt

Aspiring Novelist
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

This just in:
*www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html

Just burst out laughing.:D
 
Faun

Faun

Wahahaha~!
Staff member
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

*elliottback.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/sandwich.png
 
J

jawwadsajid

Right off the assembly line
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

“The clock has performed an illegal operation, please restart the universe so time can begin again.”

~ System Error on Windows XP
 
Faun

Faun

Wahahaha~!
Staff member
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

^^nope, there are people who will buy it. There are some fanatics but then there are apple fanatics. None can go beyond that.
 
amitabhishek

amitabhishek

Bad to the bone
Re: English of Gujrat: Gujrati Bhai, don't mind

*us.f815.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=In a hotel in Ahmedabad:
It Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
**
In a hotel lobby in Surat :
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
**
In the elevator( lift ) in Hotel Tex Pallazo, Surat :
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
**
In a hotel elevator in Baroda :
Please leave your values at the front desk.
**
In a hotel in Jamnagar :
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
**
In a hotel near Gujarat College , Ahmedabad:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
**
Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
**
In a hotel in Bhavanagar:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
**
In a laundry in Anand:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
**
In a heritage hotel in Junagadh:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

**
Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
**
In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
**
In the office of a Gynaecologist in Ahmedabad:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
**
In a hotel in Bharuch:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

 
phreak0ut

phreak0ut

The Thread Killer >:)
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

HISTORY OF THE MIDDLE FINGER!

Well, now......here' s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
Click to expand...

Ain't that cool..!.. :D
 
krazzy

krazzy

Techtree Reviewer
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

^^ LOOOOL! I am waiting for the 'opening'.

amitabhishek said:
In a hotel near Gujarat College , Ahmedabad:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
**
Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
**
In a hotel in Bhavanagar:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
**
In a laundry in Anand:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
**
Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
**
In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
**
In the office of a Gynaecologist in Ahmedabad:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
**
In a hotel in Bharuch:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Click to expand...
*s269.photobucket.com/albums/jj44/visio159/Unismilies/17large.png
 
Last edited:
koolbluez

koolbluez

Šupər♂ - 超人
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
 
casanova

casanova

The Frozen Nova
Re: Share All Your Jokes Here !

Doctor-Patient

Doctor: Ab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Patient: Pehle se kharab hai.
Doctor: Maine dawaai di thi woh khaa li thi?
Patient: Nahi. Dawaai ki sheeshi to bhari huvi thi.
Doctor: mera matlab dawai ko pi liya tha?
Patient: Peeliya tu mujhe tha. Dawaai toh laal thi.
Doctor: Abey, dawaai ko peth mein dala tha
Patient: Nahi
Doctor : Kyun
Patient: Dhakkan bandh tha
Doctor: Toh dhakkan khola kyun nahi
Patient: Aapne dhakkan bandh rakhne ke liye kaha tha
Doctor : Main tera ilaaj nahi kar sakta.
 
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