Poor Jokes Thread

[Skud]

Classic Geek joke


Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.
One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,
one friend asked the other..
"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?
The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house".
WOW!!! What happened then.. tell me the full story...
Well.. i played her favorite music and we danced.
Then!! what happened...
Well.. as we were dancing together.. we kissed...
MAN!!! then what... keep going...
Well.. i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table.. next to my new laptop..
You got a New Lapotop.... When...???
Just last week... my parents gifted me one...
Wow!! What configuration... ??
500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram.. 4.3GH processor... ........

Bahahaha...

The best I have heard in a long time, and its new, at least to me.

 

[RiGOD]

There is a classic comedy scene in a famous malayalam movie.Dont know whether it will be good if it is translated to english, still let me try.
Hero is recently married and he is trying hard to impress his wife.He learns some jokes from magazines and goes near wife who is washing clothes.
Hero : I just remembered a joke and wanted to tell you.
Wife : yeah..tell.
Hero : A man goes to a barber shop and asks what items are there? salesman says cutting and shaving. Then the man : 1 plate cutting and 1 plate shaving
Hero is laughing his ass off after telling this joke
I guess you can imagine the expression in the wife's face

Yeah buddy. You meant this right?

 

[helion]

There's a place where the Genius of India is getting selected.
Best friends Santa and Banta make it to the final round and Banta goes in first.
He comes out exasperated, sweating and all.

Santa: Kya hua Bhai...
Banta : Bahuuuuut tough hai. Inko apna Genius of India samjho milne waala nahin hai.
Santa : .... .... (wonders about his chances, rather dejected, feeling like itna door to aye hain woh to achcha hai.)

Santa goes in. There's MMS and Kapil Sibal ready to interview him.
MMS : (points to his nose and asks) What's this?
Santa: Nose.
Kapil Sibal & MMS look at one another very pleased.
Kapil Sibal: (points to his ears and asks) What's this?
Santa : Ear.
Kapil Sibal & MMS (euphoric, extatic): Mr. Santa Singh, you are the Genius of India. Congratulations.

Santa goes out smiling ear to ear, proud and Banta asks him " Itna tough thaa kaise select hue bhai? "

Spoiler

Santa(points to his own head): Kidneys !!

 

[Faun]

Classic Geek joke


Two software engineers happened to be very close friends.
One day, while sitting in a restaurant and having coffee,
one friend asked the other..
"howz your relationship with that new G/f going"?
The other guy "i forgot to mention, yesterday she came to my house".
WOW!!! What happened then.. tell me the full story...
Well.. i played her favorite music and we danced.
Then!! what happened...
Well.. as we were dancing together.. we kissed...
MAN!!! then what... keep going...
Well.. i picked her up in my arms and placed her on the table.. next to my new laptop..
You got a New Lapotop.... When...???
Just last week... my parents gifted me one...
Wow!! What configuration... ??
500GB harddisk, 8 GB ram.. 4.3GH processor... ........

I thought it would end up with the guy installing windows on her laptop at 2am and doing a virus check.

 

[RCuber]

I thought it would end up with the guy installing windows on her laptop at 2am and doing a virus check.

am I the only one reading this wrong!!!

 

[Skud]

Yeah, its his laptop, not her.

 

[ajai5777]

A man sailing in a boat having 3 sacks of rise.He has a a cigarette in his hand and he wants to light but he doesnt have a lighter then how to do it?

Spoiler

Just throw down the sacks of rise then the boat will become 'lighter' then he can use it

 

[Nipun]

Plan B:
Take drops of water from sea and throw on cigerate slowly. It will light cangle. How?

Spoiler

Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne "AAG" lagayi

PLAN C:
Throw rise in air, and catch it. Catches wins matches. With this matches we will light the candle.

PLAN D:
Praise rice. Cigerate will become jealous. with this jealousy, it will heat up.

Conclusion: You didn't open the link on previous page

 

[ajai5777]

^^
You win

 

[eggman]

Plan B:
Take drops of water from sea and throw on cigerate slowly. It will light cangle. How?

Spoiler

Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne "AAG" lagayi

PLAN C:
Throw rise in air, and catch it. Catches wins matches. With this matches we will light the candle.

PLAN D:
Praise rice. Cigerate will become jealous. with this jealousy, it will heat up.

Conclusion: You didn't open the link on previous page

You sir, have won the internet.

 

[pranav0091]

Not very relevant now, but was until a lil while ago...

These fernando torres jokes have crossed the line....
.
.
.
.

Spoiler

unlike his shots

Got it off 9gag. And I mean no hurt to any chelsea fan around.

 

[krishnandu.sarkar]

1. Go to *www.google.co.in/
2. Search for "How to kill rajinikanth"
3. Click on the first link.

 

[Nipun]

1. Go to *www.google.co.in/
2. Search for "How to kill rajinikanth"
3. Click on the first link.

There was also googlerajnikanth or something. It said 'Google can't find rajni because no one can find him, but he can find everyone'

 

[Desmond]

There was also googlerajnikanth or something. It said 'Google can't find rajni because no one can find him, but he can find everyone'

Its a ripoff of "How to find Chuck Norris" trick.

 

[Nipun]

Its a ripoff of "How to find Chuck Norris" trick.

Whats so cool about chuck norris?! hes just some dude. if hes so strong he can just break into my room and smash my face all across the keybo-FIAHFISBXLSBCOSNCOSDDPJF

 

[Faun]

am I the only one reading this wrong!!!

It happened in this forum, old member

 

[ajaybc]

Well since it is a PJ thread..

Why is the Great Wall of China on of the 7 wonders of the world ?

Spoiler

Because it is the only Chinese product that has lasted this long

Whats so cool about chuck norris?! hes just some dude. if hes so strong he can just break into my room and smash my face all across the keybo-FIAHFISBXLSBCOSNCOSDDPJF

RIP mate

 

[Desmond]

 

[RCuber]

Well since it is a PJ thread..

Why is the Great Wall of China on of the 7 wonders of the world ?

Spoiler

Because it is the only Chinese product that has lasted this long

ha ha good one !!

 

[Nipun]

‎"i wasn't that drunk"


REPLIES TO ABOVE GUY:

"dude, you threw my hamster and said, 'pikachu, i choose you" -.-

you ran at a wall while shouting 'IM GOING TO HOGWARTS!'

"Bro you destroyed my moms garden while yelling, "Screw Farmville!"

Dude, you opened all my cabinet doors and checked all my closets then yelled, ‘Where the hell is Narnia?!?!’

Dude, you saw this hobo on the corner with a white beard, ran up and hugged him crying, ‘DUMBLEDORE YOU’RE ALIVE!’

“Dude, you grabbed my parakeet and threw it at my dog and yelled, ‘ANGRY BIRDS!’”

“Dude, you jumped into a pile of mud and yelled ‘Look! I’m in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river!’”

“Dude, you were arguing with yourself over the phone then got upset when you hung up.”

“Dude, you kept calling my goldfish Cosmo and Wanda, got angry and started yelling at them when none of your wishes were coming true.”

“Dude, you saw this little Mexican girl, picked her up and yelled, ‘DORA I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!’”

“Dude, you gave a midget a mushroom and said, ‘GROW MARIO GROW!’”

“Dude, you called me saying you couldn’t find your phone.”


“Dude, you tried to open your door by
screaming ‘Alohamora!’”

“Dude, you stood in my Fireplace and yelled, ‘Diagon Alley!’”


“Dude, you gave a sock to a Midget yelling ‘Dobby, you’re FREE!’”

Dude! You were cutting open pineapples yelling, “Spongebob! I know you’re in there!”

” Dude, you thought my sponge had the Krabby Patty formula.”

Dude..... You were chasing my dog saying "Come back Sirius!!"

You Ripped Off Your Girlfriends Necklace, Yelled Horcrux And Then Crushed It Into Hundreds Of Pieces With Your Foot