TDM is another name for FFA, to get the most outta BF3, you gotta play Conquest.
Then you haven't played it with the right people. BF3's never meant to jump into the multiplayer alone, it's meant to play with friends pre-planned, if you know what I mean. It's not necessary that you communicate with voice chat, use text chat and there are good commands given in the game itself. If you can't find friends, well, you probably made a wrong decision buying BF3. Or you can play alone and keep the complaining to minimum.
Deathmatch is FFA, not TDM. Although this game does not have a Deathmatch mode, it doesn't mean TDM and SDM become FFAs. You don't go around killing your own team, lol.
Also, the same thing happens in Conquest [it's been quite a while since I played BF3, so the name of this mode wasn't on the top of my mind]. People never listen to their squad leaders (if the leaders even bother to issue commands).
I bought BF3 because people recommended I play it. I usually don't jump into a game alone. I used to be a part of another group and they used to have their own servers. But people never really play as a team.
I don't even use voice commands. Chat messages and preset commands have always been fine for me.
Finally, I'm not complaining. All I'm saying is that squad tactics enforcement should be implemented in the game to deter people from disobeying commands. This game was my first foray into Battlefield after I burned cash in 2142 (my first BF game), and you expect me to know each and every detail about the game?
And why would it be a wrong decision to buy the game? I had lots of fun when I played it. My point still holds that team tactics in the game are fail unless you have a genuine squad.