I need a serious change damn it! Can anyone help?

[axelzdly1]

I'm 19 .I think I really need to change my life-style.. My typical day goes like..

I wake up at 11 during my free days
and then I start my PC, INTERNET ALL DAY!

and go out a few times for 5 min or so..

and I sleep at 2 PM..
= 12 hours avg of computer..isnt that loong?

I think most of the people are doing the same..(or not?)..the thing is, i'm lacking physical exercise and I think my ability to talk correctly is slowly vanishing..i'm stuttering a lot and unable to grasp the correct word im seeking..and I think its the fault of INTERNET (memes!) alone! (btw it took me a while to think of these words)

btw im skinny, so I thought of going to gym, I have a thing for photography, so I bought a camera..,I think of helping my parents bcoz this will be my last year living with them .. I think of trying some science projects/stuff..every time im trying to sleep I think of trying them tomorrow.., so I feel happy and doze..next day, it will be the same...everyday I THINK of doing something, but they remain as THOUGHTS only..
and I even THINK of improving myself..but..,as I said before..

yet, im unable to come out of it, aaaaannnd it goes on..
any help?

thanks for reading..@!

 

[harshilsharma63]

> Give yourself target and write it on a paper. then make several copies of it ans stick them on the mirror, on the monitor, everywhere you can see it.

> Ask your friends too to join the gym and go along with them.

> Go outside to some nice locations in your city and click photographs there. make such trips regularly.

 

[axelzdly1]

will power..what for that.?

 

[varun004]

you are just lazy that is all there is no deep rooted problems in you. So get out, change the scenery, hang out with friends if you have any or make friends in gym. I am in the same situation as you are and every day i try to reduce my time on the internet by doing some other activity either at home or outside. You feel like you are lost but just think what you like to do or anything that comes in your mind first and do it except the internet of course.

 

[Flash]

Assuming you're in hostel,

- Quit internet for a day and hang out with the ones you like, maybe your friends.
- Just have a random walk and circle your street/college.
- Grab a book from library and give it a read. (grab one with lots of pics).
- Go to your friend's room, and chat with them with whatever you can think on.

These are just some of my tips.
Relax yourself and think with a calm mind, you will even more.

 

[axelzdly1]

Thank you gearbox and harshilsharma63 ! Simple but valuable suggestions indeed..I will keep those in mind, better write them on paper..!
(sure, calm mind changed my perspective about my prob ! )

varun004: brother! thou art true! i'm 100% lethargic..and I love procrastinating all day long!

 

[lakeport]

i have the same problem. i stay at home all day and play games or surf internet forums. I also troll yahoo answers by asking stupid questions to anger other people. I suck at studies.. my life has been wasted

 

[varun004]

watch, read or think something that motivates you. Search "owen cook" on youtube this guy is an awesome motivational speaker.

 

[Rajesh345]

"t and unable to grasp the correct word im
seeking. "

I have this issue when somebody suddenly / randomely start speaking to me


in Normal conversation I have no issue. but only when. SOMETIMES people start talking . Like while in bus / train / when some random person suddenly ask something

Once started. no issue



Any I have any comment on this ?



I after work reach home at 7 pm.. after normal things . I watch tv, after. it. finish work related using. pc. , finally 15 minutes /30 minutes. some android online game on PC ,


Finally surf forums .

At 12/1 am I sleep. and get up at 5;30. and prepare for work (train)

 

[Anorion]

I think most of the people are doing the same..(or not?)..the thing is, i'm lacking physical exercise and I think my ability to talk correctly is slowly vanishing..i'm stuttering a lot and unable to grasp the correct word im seeking..and I think its the fault of INTERNET (memes!) alone! (btw it took me a while to think of these words)

Wow! :thumbup: :envy: enjoy it while it lasts!

If you live near mum/pune try trekking on weekends, season going on atm

 

[axelzdly1]

@anorion enjoy? in what sense?
about trekking..thanks man! a nice suggestion indeed.. i've been reducing my PC hours recently, by helping my mom..

I have this issue when somebody suddenly / randomely start speaking to me

that's because you are thinking of something else , your brain has been pre-occupied by some unsatisfied thoughts/things you are trying to do..and when somebody talks, u take time returning from ur philosophical arena...that's what happens to me..might be the same with ya..understood what I mean?

 

[TheSloth]

I get stuck when people ask me suddenly, even my name.
Person: Whats your name?
Me: My name is XYZ(like a 4th standard kid)
Before coming to hostel I was like "I am XYZ, nice to meet you too"
Once very embarassing thing happened. My friend's uncle came to hostel and wanted to meet me(may be to check with what kind of guys my son is staying with). I didn't wanted to go but I went. I entered room,
Me: Vanakkum Uncle.
Uncle: What's your good name?
Me: My good name i..s.. XYZ(*In mind, what the f*** I said just now!!!)

 

[Vyom]

Thanks for bumping this thread. I don't know how I miss such threads.

The behavior OP shows and others have written down is a typical example of Introversion. I was been there too. I don't use to go out much. Used to stutter a lot while speaking. Was not able to start a conversation with anyone. But once started I didn't use to face much problem continuing then. The anxiety before meeting new people remained too much. I was bullied in school too much for stuttering and due to which I didn't have much confidence doing anything.

But today most of the problems are gone. But it didn't happen overnight. It takes time. And there's no single formula.
I think friends help a lot in this case. I try to go out each weekend. Just a mall, or to a movie or just random market or places. Helps to get to know the city a lot better and staying away from technology a little. I try to participate more in social drama. Or some event happening in office. I take breaks where I work and go talk to random colleagues from time to time. The point is to get out of your world and try to know someone else better. First person. Helps to know others point of view.

With regards to talking to people, one have to remember they are just a regular people like us. And they are not expecting the words of Shakespeare to come out of our mouth. But we have to think before what we speak. We may take one or two seconds longer but the answers should be precise. Sometimes political answers are required too. Not everyone requires a direct answer, sometimes they want diplomatic answers too. And one should be ready to give them.

I think understanding that everything is important to one's being is important. Yea, technology is boon to most of our lives but a balanced life is necessary so that technology doesn't overpower it. Time to time breaks should be given, and verbal communication should be done.

Well, I don't know if my post will help, but atleast I feel I am more social now than ever before.

- - - Updated - - -

Well, I forgot to ask, so how is the life today [MENTION=143631]axelzdly1[/MENTION]?

 

[kaz]

I think most of us are the same...

When I listened to the teacher in class all went inside my head really fast...I helped my friends in class when they didn't get what was just taught...But at the end they scored better than me..How?
Because I'm lazy, I never took studies seriously after Std. VI , yeah I topped then..I ignore studies to the fullest I hate myself for this..Just studying in the gaps between consecutive exams is all I did and I never got decent marks..Last sem results are yet to come and I think B.Tech will get over with CGPAs ranging from 6.5 to 7.8

Moving on from studies, I never start a conversation with new people. I ignore them as if they never existed and some of my classmates thought me as arrogant..But no I'm not, I have lots of friends and we have much fun together. I helped everyone in need, either technically or financially..I am the one who plans and executes all hangouts... I think I should have talked to each of my batchmates atleast one...

 

[Vyom]

Well, I don't know if my post will help, but atleast I feel I am more social now than ever before.

Scratch that last part. I don't think I am more social than before. I don't know what's happening with me.

A friend just came to my house. We sat down. Played a session of Grid 2. Then he said lets go outside in his car. I have gone out with him before too manytimes. Just to wander in the market and stuff. But this time I refused. I was just not feeling like to go outside. I am not sick or something. But something inside me was telling me just to sit in one corner of room and pretend I have a happy life.

I went with him to his car to say him bye. He insisted me to go with him. I just refused and affirmed myself by banging the door of the car to shut with some force. He realized I had a bad mood. And then he drove away.

Here's the thing. I don't know why I just did that. I could have gone with him. But I didn't. I could have just argued with him, but I didn't. I showed physical force to show my denial. I don't know if its the inner introversion kicking up again. I just am not feeling good anymore after that incident.

 

[.jRay.]

I think most of us are the same...

When I listened to the teacher in class all went inside my head really fast...I helped my friends in class when they didn't get what was just taught...But at the end they scored better than me..How?
Because I'm lazy, I never took studies seriously after Std. VI , yeah I topped then..I ignore studies to the fullest I hate myself for this..Just studying in the gaps between consecutive exams is all I did and I never got decent marks..Last sem results are yet to come and I think B.Tech will get over with CGPAs ranging from 6.5 to 7.8

Moving on from studies, I never start a conversation with new people. I ignore them as if they never existed and some of my classmates thought me as arrogant..But no I'm not, I have lots of friends and we have much fun together. I helped everyone in need, either technically or financially..I am the one who plans and executes all hangouts... I think I should have talked to each of my batchmates atleast one...

You're my clone?? I'm almost the same... I ignore studies, and people think i have a massive ego problem, but i don't, i just find it unnecessary to talk to someone without the absolute need for it.

 

[Vignesh B]

Scratch that last part. I don't think I am more social than before. I don't know what's happening with me.

A friend just came to my house. We sat down. Played a session of Grid 2. Then he said lets go outside in his car. I have gone out with him before too manytimes. Just to wander in the market and stuff. But this time I refused. I was just not feeling like to go outside. I am not sick or something. But something inside me was telling me just to sit in one corner of room and pretend I have a happy life.

I went with him to his car to say him bye. He insisted me to go with him. I just refused and affirmed myself by banging the door of the car to shut with some force. He realized I had a bad mood. And then he drove away.

Here's the thing. I don't know why I just did that. I could have gone with him. But I didn't. I could have just argued with him, but I didn't. I showed physical force to show my denial. I don't know if its the inner introversion kicking up again. I just am not feeling good anymore after that incident.

I don't think its the "inner introversion kicking up again". Probably you had a bad day in office or things might have not have worked out as you had expected and your frustration finally overcame you.
This kind of singular incident does happen to almost everyone. No need to fret about. If possible render an apology to him. It "might" make you feel better.
I don't know you personally, but I feel you put all your emotions while posting in this forum. Most of your posts feel like you are baring yourself completely. Emulate the same in your real life too(if you're already not doing)! You should be fine.

 

[kaz]

You're my clone?? I'm almost the same... I ignore studies, and people think i have a massive ego problem, but i don't, i just find it unnecessary to talk to someone without the absolute need for it.

High Five then

 

[mikael_schiffer]

The easiest way is to socialize (in physical sense not virtual world sense). That's what i did after i became a Gaming zombie. Mom served me food in my computer table, Dad was like: "what am i gonna do with this boy he is a gone case"
So i started spending time with my friends, like going out, meeting people or just doing mundane boring stuff like "lets go visit that guy's house" etc etc. although all you end up doing is watch his tv, read his comics or watch him play games while u simply stare on (buggers dont have the courtesy of letting guests play games on their PC). On the bright side, free snacks

Oh ya, having a girl helps too. Doesnt necessarily have to be your significant other...
At the beginning you will have to hear nag nag nag like "you are so childish why u still play games" and "come take me for shopping" zzzzzzz .. but all in all u start finding things other than sitting on the computer. You can still be connected to the virtual world, like surfing on your phone while your girl spends hours deciding whether to pick the cherry pink sandals or cerulean blue sandals. (u will also learn about colors and stuffs so general knowledge ftw )

 

[.jRay.]

High Five then