Share All Your Jokes Here ! [warning: some jokes may not be family friendly]

RaghuKL

RaghuKL

Swalpa Adjust Maadi
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says, "$1000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh!t again"
 
DarkDante

DarkDante

Journeyman
RaghuKL said:
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says, "$1000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh!t again"
Click to expand...
WTF man damn ****!

Some philosophy:
a son asks his father,
"how was i born"
father says"tu chutia hai."
son says(thinkin its ok to swear)"ve mader****, gaali mat bol!"
Father says,
"to bhen****, tu mere L*** se nikla kya!"
:razz::razz::razz::razz::razz:
 
damngoodman999

damngoodman999

damnbadman666
A friend of mine , made me a Jack ass !!

Here is the conversation

Me : w r u working da ??
Friend : in TCS
me : which post
Friend : financial analyst !
Me : u did only Mcom got the job easily , i did MCA (still dint get the good job )
Friend : they saw talent in me so i got the job !!
Me : my bad luck

then one week after talking about my TCS friend with another friend !

Me : hey , did u see Mr.XXX got job in TCS !!
2Friend : yes , da
Me : how is possible da , u r engineering & me MCA , still we dint get job in TCS - how he got ??
2Friend : Which TCS r u talking ??
Me : TATA CONSULTANCY SERVICES !!
2Friend : u idiot , he is working in ( THE CHENNAI SILKS also called as TCS )
Me : Hrrghh grrrrgh grrrgh :banghead::banghead::banghead:
 
vamsi_krishna

vamsi_krishna

Human Spambot
Many people would have read this joke...



Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."

"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."

Another one.....

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
 
TheHumanBot

TheHumanBot

Padawan
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing.
About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the hell are you doing that?!"
The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk."
"WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below.
The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're an aish-hole when you're drunk."
 
tkin

tkin

Back to school!!
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More coming.
 
Kl@w-24

Kl@w-24

Slideshow Bob
"I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Eric the 11 year old lad next door whose bedroom looks like mission control, and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away I called after him and asked what was wrong.
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error".
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired , "An ID ten T error? What's that?....in case I need to fix it again."
Eric grinned,"Haven't you heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No" I replied
"Write it down" he said, "and I think you'll figure it out!"


So I wrote down....



ID10T



I used to like Eric.....the little b*****d!"
 
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