All Technology Related Jokes Goes Here!!

kkn13

Cyber Genius FTW
I thought this thread was long overdue in TDF.
Please share all your technology and computers related jokes here.

Keep NSFW posts away.
Try to post Text only Jokes.



PS: The thread title ~ PascalCase cause I'm a developer :p


EDIT: Please do not quote post while replying to a post, or atleast use spoiler tags to keep post size manageable or just hit that Like button.
linux: operating system used to recover stuff from another os
sorry couldnt resist :D (i love both linux and windows)
 

ariftwister

Truth Seeker
Not really a joke,

"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
- Martin Fowler
 

ariftwister

Truth Seeker
A group of computer science majors were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture one of the men leaned over and grabbed a women's handphone.

Woman: "Hey! Thats private OK!?"

The man hesitated for a second looking confused.

Man: "But I thought we were in the same class?"

PS: This joke has been modified a bit
 

ariftwister

Truth Seeker
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
 

ariftwister

Truth Seeker
Two strings walk into a bar.
One says to the bartender: “I’ll have a beer*7jd@jh".

The other says: “Excuse my friend, he’s not null terminated.”
 

ariftwister

Truth Seeker
Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions:
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
 

juliastiles406

Right off the assembly line
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

Not only that, but....

Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver wouuld cause your car to stop an fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
 

ratul

█████████████████
i used to think myself as a geek unless i read this thread, heck i don't get even 20% of these jokes at the first time.. :(
 
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