Chants are one of the few things that Opta do not keep track of these days but no doubt their boffins chuckled to themselves when Thomas Vermaelen headed a corner clear against Fulham last Sunday and the Arsenal fans giddily started singing, to the tune of White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, "We defended a corner! We defended a corner!" That was an appropriately sarcastic condemnation of the team that conceded a higher proportion of goals from set-pieces (53.5%) this season than any other in the Premier League.
It may have been Vermaelen's clearance that triggered Sunday's celebration, but that does not mean Arsenal would have defended set-pieces better throughout the campaign if the Belgian had been fit: they let in exactly the same number of goals from set-pieces this season as they did last season (23), when Vermaelen regularly featured.
That toll is almost double the number that Arsenal conceded during the 2008‑09 campaign (12), so what happened in the summer of 2009 that suddenly caused their set-piece defending to deteriorate? Sol Campbell left long before that (in his last season, 2005‑06, Arsenal only conceded nine goals from set-pieces) so perhaps Kolo Touré's departure to Manchester City had a bigger effect than is generally supposed? The Ivorian managed more headed clearances in his last season in London than any other Arsenal player – and his tally for that term, 129, is also more than any Arsenal player managed this season.
Craven Cottage is home to the side that conceded the fewest goals from set-pieces this season (10). Perhaps Arsène Wenger should revive his interest in Brede Hangeland and Mark Schwarzer? Hangeland, indeed, made more clearances (424) than any other player this season, with the exception of Blackpool's Ian Evatt (430).
West Bromwich Albion were one of only three teams to concede more, in actual terms, from set-pieces than Arsenal, letting in 30 goals, followed by Aston Villa (27) and Sunderland (24).
Arsenal did do some things well, of course. They were the only team to average more than 60% possession in matches and, unsurprisingly, they completed the highest number of successful passes per game (444.8. Chelsea were second with 423.1) and the highest percentage of short passes (92.3%, ahead of Manchester City on 90.3%).
What is more, Opta's statistics also provide ammunition for Wenger's sob stories and conspiracy theories: Arsenal hit the woodwork more times than anyone else this season (22) and were also the victims of more straight red card offences than any other team (9). Mind you, Arsenal were no angels themselves, earning six red cards throughout the season, behind only West Brom (7). And Arsenal were not the most fouled team in quantitative terms – in fact, 12 teams suffered more fouls than Arsenal this season, Everton being the most wronged (victims of 525 fouls, followed by Newcastle with 509).
The most prolific foulers were Bolton Wanderers (513), followed by Blackburn Rovers and the not-so-innocent Everton (both 498). Bolton, of course, were led by the royally impenitent Kevin Davies, who was the most prolific individual fouler for the seventh time in the last eight seasons; even more impressively, his 123 fouls this term broke his own record for the highest number committed since Opta records began. Cheik Tioté was the next most persistent offender this season, with 79. And Charlie Adam showed that there is more to his game than passing (as Gareth Bale already knows) by committing 70.
Adam, in fairness, was also the league's second-most fouled player (after Aston Villa's Ashley Young, who was fouled 96 times, five more than Adam), all of which goes to show that the Scot tended to be in the thick of the action. Indeed, only one player touched the ball more times this season than Adam – Fulham's Danny Murphy – and only one player had more goal assists from open play (Joey Barton with five to Adam's four).
Blackpool's scored more goals than any other relegated team in the Premier League era. They were also involved in one of the matches of the season: their 4-3 victory over Bolton in the penultimate week of the campaign featured an amazing 49 shots. The game with the fewest shots was Newcastle-Blackburn, in which there were only 15.
Chelsea attempted more shots than any other team last season (563) but they lacked precision – their shooting accuracy rate of 43.34% was exceeded by nine teams, led by Arsenal (47.5%). The sharpest individual shooter was Samir Nasri, who hit the target with 65.4% of his efforts, making him more precise than Dirk Kuyt (62%) and Peter Lovenkrands (60%). Shooting on target is not, of course, the same as scoring goals – and that is exactly what you should tell Jermain Defoe if he ever mentions that he was more accurate this term (54.8%) than Javier Hernández (54.6%).
The Mexican averaged a goal every 114.3 minutes – bettered only by two people, Robin van Persie (98.2) and, yes, Dimitar Berbatov (110.5). Carlos Tevez (126.6) was the fifth most frequent scorer in terms of minutes played, sandwiched between Leon Best (125.3) and Marlon Harewood (132), no less.
If you have to let an opponent shoot, make sure that opponent is Steed Malbranque: he had far more shots without scoring than anyone else (44, Jack Rodwell was next, with 30).
Joe Hart had the highest shots-to-saves ratio (76.4%), though Ben Foster (75.5%) had to save more shots (169). One of the reasons Foster had to make so many saves was that Birmingham City won fewer tackles than anyone else (452. Wolves were the next flimsiest, with 482 tackles won). Birmingham were similarly impotent going forward: not only did they score just 37 goals from 38 games but they also completed fewer through-balls (14) than anyone else and won fewer corners (152).
And opponents were not keen to help Birmingham: Alex McLeish's team was the only one not to benefit from an own goal this term. So what were Birmingham good at? Well, they hit a higher proportion of their passes long (18.9%) than anyone else. Except Stoke, obviously (19.9%).
Stoke averaged less possession (38%) than anyone else but they did fling in by far the highest number of throw-ins – 550 (the next highest was Bolton with 288), from which they scored four goals. Preparing for those throw-ins is quite the palaver, of course, which is why there was less action in matches involving Stoke than any other team: the average amount of time that the ball was in play for Stoke games this season was 58.52 minutes. Manchester United offered the most action, 66.58 minutes on average.
At Premier League matches on average, the ball was in play for 62.39 minutes this season – more than in the much-vaunted Spanish and German top flights (61.48 minutes and 61.22 minutes respectively), but significantly less than in Serie A (65.15 minutes).
Liverpool's transformation under Kenny Dalglish is encapsulated by the fact that under the Scot they scored 35 goals in 18 league games, whereas under Roy Hodgson they mustered 24 in 20. The tendency to play more on the counterattack under Dalglish is reflected in the fact that they averaged more possession under Hodgson (53.2% to 50.6% under Dalglish) – part of the reason that this approach has been successful is that shooting accuracy has increased substantially under the Scot (rising from 43.2% to 51.4%). When Liverpool do not have the ball, Lucas Leiva is the man most likely to win it back: he won more tackles than any other player in this campaign (111, followed by David Vaughan with 104 and Scott Parker with 93).
Fernando Torres, as we know, has not been missed at Anfield. Assistant referees tend not to miss him either: he was flagged offside 30 times this season – only five strikers were caught out more frequently: Hugo Rodallega (32), Carlton Cole (34), Dimitar Berbatov (36), Peter Odemwingie (47) and the perpetually disoriented Darren Bent (67).
Wigan Athletic's Charles N'Zogbia again attempted more dribbles than any other player this season (301, way ahead of Jonas Gutiérrez on 219). In the past two seasons he has attempted almost 300 more than anyone else (554. The next is Gareth Bale with 258, followed by Torres with 239). One player who should perhaps stop trying is Stephen Hunt: the Wolves winger beat his opponent just three times from 36 attempts all season.
It has been a long, hard season. Particularly for Martin Skrtel and Leighton Baines, the only outfield players to have played every minute of it for their clubs. Baines was especially busy: he delivered more crosses from open play than anyone else (249, six more than Stewart Downing) – and his 11 assists were beaten only by Didier Drogba (13) and Nani (14).
This was not a good season for travellers. There were fewer away wins (90) during this campaign than in any other in the Premier League era. There seems to be a downward trend, as the previous worst was last season (91). Manchester United won fewer away points (25) than any other Premier League champions. In fact, only two teams in history have won a 20-team English top-flight with fewer away victories than United's five this term: Newcastle in 1907 (four away wins) and Sheffield Wednesday in 1929 (three).