Funny ... Laugh always... :-)

[naveen_reloaded]

Found this on net.. and found it extremely funny so wanted to post it ...
will be posting more funny things like this ..

please do contribute to this thread..

LET keep this thread updated for all those FUNNY THINGS ... TICKLING STUFF...

In case you don't speak German (just as this hacker), I've tried a little translation to English. I might have made some spelling errors, but the original spelling wasn't perfect either. The guy really said "buy buy" in the German version.

For information:
The dangerous hacker is called *****checker and the one being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch.
127.0.0.1 is always the IP address of the computer you're currently using; any request there will return to your computer.
Notice that in Germany we get Daylight Savings Time (DST) earlier than in the US.


The story starts (I'm shortcutting here) with a kid insulting everyone on the #stopHipHop IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather funny, but it got even more funny...


* *****checker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* *****checker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<*****checker> why do you kick me
<*****checker> can't you discus normally
<*****checker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * *****checker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<*****checker> what ping man
<*****checker> the timing of my pc is right
<*****checker> i even have dst
<*****checker> you banned me
<*****checker> amit it you son of a *****
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> **** you're stupid, DST^^
<*****checker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<*****checker> for two weaks already
<*****checker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<*****checker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<*****checker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<*****checker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<*****checker> shut up you'll be gone
<*****checker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<*****checker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<*****checker> to you man
<*****checker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* *****checker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)




What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP address in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure.

I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.




* *****checker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<*****checker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> *****checker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<*****checker> you're so stupid man
<*****checker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<*****checker> buy buy elch
* *****checker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)



There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve...

Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.




* *****checker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<*****checker> elch you son of a *****
<Metanot> *****checker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up *****checker?
<*****checker> you have a frie wal
<*****checker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<*****checker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<*****checker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<*****checker> be a man turn that **** off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<*****checker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes *****checker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he *****checker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<*****checker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<*****checker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> ***** give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<*****checker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he *****checker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<*****checker> you're afraid
<*****checker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<*****checker> elch turn off your **** wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<*****checker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<*****checker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<*****checker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall



He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.




<Elch> *****checker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> *****hacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<*****checker> wort man
<Elch> *****checker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<*****checker> man do you want a virus
<*****checker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<*****checker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<*****checker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look



In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?
<*****checker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a *****



<Elch> that's bad
<*****checker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<*****checker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone



Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. *****checker was comforting me with a music tip.



<*****checker> tupac rules
<*****checker> elch you son of a ***** your f: is gone and e: too



Drive E Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?



<*****checker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<*****checker> your d: is gone
<He> go on *****



The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! *****checker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.



<*****checker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<*****checker> i'm already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?
* *****checker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)


Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "*****checker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout".

We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.

 

[akshaykapoor_3]

hahaha...ROFL....i've read dis earlier as well...Nice post..!

 

[praka123]

OMG LOL I will say with the old going "there is no place like 127.0.0.1" if u believe it is,ur gone
btwn do mention the source OR are u user elch
aahaa!alas some good hackers budding up!.

 

[koolbluez]

read it b4.... was funny... geek funny

btwn do mention the source OR are u user elch

here it is... *www.electric-escape.net/node/1475
here too... *www.ddruk.com/postview.php?post=261382&page=1
or here.. *www.fedtrek.com/Misc_Funny_Stuff-page-hacker.html... and many places more

 

[naveen_reloaded]

ya its old ... but thought it would be really good to start a thread where everybody can donate thier funny stories.. facts.. things like that ..
just to take head out of all tension for a while and relax....

 

[Ihatemyself]

LMAO...heeeheee what a marvellous hacker...really never give ur IP on internet especially when it is 127.0.0.1 LOL i have d same ip..

 

[Pathik]

Good one..

 

[RCuber]

Rofl Rofl ..

 

[vivekrules]

lol. hahaha... !!! it was really very funny !!! hahaha

 

[iMav]

everytime i start wndows it says daylight is on ... the time on my oc is right and he calls himself a hacker ...

 

[xbonez]

ha! awesome.

 

[naveen_reloaded]

guys come on if possible post funny stufffs man...
just a request

 

[entrana]

nice one

 

[naveen_reloaded]

well the next story.. kinda small...one

Customer: "YOU GAVE ME A VIRUS!"
Tech Support: "I don't think I've got a virus."
Customer: "Go download [a brand of virus checker], and you'll see."

Sometime later I dutifully ran the checker.

Tech Support: "Ok, I ran it. No virus."
Customer: "You MUST have a virus. You gave it to me. It was all over my system. You must not have run the checker properly." (yell, rant, rave, repeat checks, etc)
Tech Support: "How did I give it to you?"
Customer: "On those floppies with the latest revision of the software you wrote."
Tech Support: "The ones you just returned?"
Customer: "Yeah."
Tech Support: "Just a sec...let me check those." (pause) "Well, I found a virus on the disks. Ahem...seems you were about to pass a virus on to ME."
Customer: "Ah...lemme get back to you." (click)

 

[naveen_reloaded]

Guys please do contribute and keep this thread going .. so that we will have a centralised place to have fun...

Not too long ago, I added my company, Inedo, to the federal government's Central Contractor Registration system. I don't know, I just didn't want to miss out on all the fun every one seems to have with government work. Whenever one signs up for virtually any government thing, a deluge of companies somehow manage to find to out. The CCR is certainly no exception.

One of the many companies that contacted me after signing up was the Federal Suppliers Guide. The initial cold call went something like this:

FSG Rep: Hi Alex, I've got some great news for you!

(Let me guess... you can save me a lot of money on something...)
Me: Okay...

FSG Rep: We've reviewed your CCR registration, and it looks like your company could be eligible for placement in our guide!

(Wow, that *is* great news!)
Me: Your guide?

FSG Rep: The Suppliers Guide! It's used *exclusively* by state and federal agencies to purchase services and products. Anyway, to confirm your eligibility, I'll need to ask a few questions. First, where are you located?

--- snipped a total of three questions asked ---

FSG Rep: Okay... well, let me punch this in here -- clickity clickity clicky -- wow! This is really good! You are, in fact, eligible for the guide! Would you like to be in our guide?

(There's no possible way there could be any sort of catch here...)
Me: Sure! Why not?

FSG Rep: Fantastic! There's just a nominal fee to get started, so if you'll just get me your credit card number we can--

Me: How much is the nominal fee?

FSG Rep: Heh, it's really very little actually. It's a fantastic investment that ranges anywhere from six hundred to several thousand.

Me: I can't make that decision right now; can you send me over some information?

FSG Rep: Oh. You can't? Well, I mean, I guess I could send you more information... but you know, I can just answer any questions you have now. I mean, I'd hate for you to lose your eligibility, that's all!

(What a nice guy! And this whole time, I thought he was a fast-talking salesman...)
Me: I guess we'll just have to take that risk; can you also send me a copy the guide, too?

FSG Rep: Err, gee... well, you know... that's the one thing I can't do. You see, these guides are to be used *exclusively* by government agents. We can't just give them to anyone, you know.

(And to think, I was questioning whether they were even legitimate!)
Me: Okaaaay... just send me what you can then.

After a bit more back-and-forth about how he could "just answer any questions I had right now", the sales rep pointed me to their sample ads, a 7mb PDF with sixteen pages of seemingly real companies, all with the same phone number (555-555-5555) and the same website (00000000000.com). Somehow, that didn't convince me to "invest" several hundred dollars, so the salesman faxed over some more inforation with a single, real ad.

As I eagerly waited for the follow-up call later that day, I thought I'd take a minute or two to check out their website. Almost immediately, I came across their Federal Procurement Officers Only page. Out of curiousity, I entered a username and password, and then clicked the Login button. Instantly, a JavaScript dialog popped-up...



Since there's really only one thing that could cause such a dialog to pop-up so fast, I checked the source code...
<script language="javascript">
<!--//
/*This Script allows people to enter by using a form that asks for a
UserID and Password*/
function pasuser(form) {
if (form.id.value=="buyers") {
if (form.pass.value=="gov1996") {
location="*officers.federalsuppliers.com/agents.html"
} else {
alert("Invalid Password")
}
} else { alert("Invalid UserID")
}
}
//-->
</script>

And sure enough, following that URL (UPDATE: now taken offline) led me to the "SECURE Federal Suppliers Guide Listings for Agents" [sic] page. Having obviously way too much free time on my hands, I clicked through the secure guide and called a few of the companies listed to inquire about the ad. The response was overwhelmingly the same: we spent several [hundred|thousand] bucks on this ad, and haven't had a single call -- aside from yours just now -- in [one|two|three] year regarding it.

When the sales rep called later, I decided to politely explain why I wouldn't be "investing" at this time...

Me: I called a few of your clients for references, and none of them received a single lead from the--

FSG Rep: Wait-wait-wait... clients? You called our clients? How did you--

Me: Err, well, I just clicked the "Agents" link--

FSG Rep: You can't access that page! That's for Federal Procurement Officers Only! It's password protected!

Me: Well, umm, the password was right there on the--

FSG Rep: So you hacked our site!? You can't do that! It's SECURE! You can get in a lot of trouble for hacking!

The conversation quickly went downhill from there. Needless to say, I decided against investing in the guide. But the good news is, despite hacking their site, I'm still eligible for inclusion in the guide!

 

[skeletor]

ROFLMAO.........
The first one was really funny...... FOCROFLMAO....