Answer to Q#1:
Connect using network card (where the Local Area Network already has its own internet access). Enjoy modem-less, wireless-less (wired) internet!!
Answer#1 to Q#2:
Pull out recipes from the Internet. Read them from the computer screen while you cook them accordingly in the kitchen. Enjoy your dinner!
Answer#2 to Q#2 (requires a laptop or Tablet PC):
Run a processor intensive task like encoding a long video. After few minutes, close (make sure the computer does not shut down or standby when closing) and turn the computer upside down. Pour an egg at the back of the computer which must be hot enough already to prepare and omlette. Enjoy your omlette!
Stop fooling around... I said if you don't have any answer just KUMS! (Keep Ur Mouth Shut)
