For those who dont know who Chuck Norris is, please see here first!
So here we go.....
# Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
# Scientists believe the world began with the “Big Bang”. Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a “bad case of gas”.
# In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
# We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
# Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
# Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
# According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
# When J. Robert Oppenheimer said “I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds”, He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
# When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
# Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
# Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
# Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren’t before his first space expedition.
# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
# Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
# Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
# Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
# Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
# Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
# Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
# Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”
# The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed… unless it meets Chuck Norris.
# When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
# Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
# There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris…. Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
So here we go.....
# Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
# Scientists believe the world began with the “Big Bang”. Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a “bad case of gas”.
# In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
# We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
# Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
# Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don’t really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
# According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
# When J. Robert Oppenheimer said “I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds”, He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
# When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
# Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
# Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
# Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren’t before his first space expedition.
# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
# Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
# Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
# Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
# Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
# Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
# Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
# Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”
# The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed… unless it meets Chuck Norris.
# When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
# Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
# There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris…. Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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