Funny Fortunes in XFCe

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The Outsider

Beneath The Eyelids


Just installed Xfce after a long time, found these funny quotes/jokes, thought it would be good to share them :D , the first one is really hilarious :lol:

btw, most of them relate to open source :)

Brief History Of Linux (#1)
Re-Inventing the Wheel

Our journey through the history of Linux begins ca. 28000 B.C. when a
large all-powerful company called MoogaSoft monopolized the wheel-making
industry. As founder of the company, Billga Googagates (rumored to be the
distant ancestor of Bill Gates) was the wealthiest man in the known world,
owning several large rock huts, an extravagant collection of artwork (cave
paintings), and a whole army of servants and soldiers.

MoogaSoft's unfair business practices were irritating, but users were
unable to do anything about them, lest they be clubbed to death by
MoogaSoft's army. Nevertheless, one small group of hobbyists finally got
fed up and starting hacking their own wheels out of solid rock. Their
spirit of cooperation led to better and better wheels that eventually
outperformed MoogaSoft offerings.

MoogaSoft tried desperately to stop the hobbyists -- as shown by the
recently unearthed "Ooga! Document" -- but failed. Ironically, Billga
Googagates was killed shortly afterwards when one his own 900-pound wheels
crushed him.


I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they
could do was to go away.



A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the
program on which he was working. "I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer
promptly replied.
"I think you are being unrealistic," said the manager. "Truthfully,
how long will it take?"
The programmer thought for a moment. "I have some features that I wish
to add. This will take at least two weeks," he finally said.
"Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
The programmer agreed to this.
Several years later, the manager retired. On the way to his
retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his terminal.
He had been programming all night.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"



How about some patent on "(a+b)^2 == a^2 + 2ab + b^2"? Choose free software!

-- Laurent Szyster



Computers have rights, too. Everyone talks about the rights of animals,
but so far nothing has been said about the tragic plight of computers the
world over. They are subjected to the greatest horror ever conceived: they
are forced to run Windows.

That's just wrong.

How would you feel if you had the intelligence of Einstein but could only
get a job flipping burgers at McDonald's? That's how computers feel every
day!

This injustice must stop. Computers must be freed from the shackles of
Microsoft software and clueless users.

Together, we can make this a better world for computers and humans alike
-- by eliminating Windows.

-- From a brochure published by the PETC
(People for the Ethical Treatment of Computers)


<gorgo> what do you get when someone cracks your debian machine ?
<gorgo> mashed potato...



I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats
on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
-- Steven Wright



<Culus> dhd: R you part of the secret debian overstructure?
<dhd> no. there is no secret debian overstructure.
<CosmicRay> although, now that somebody brought it up, let's start one
:)
<Knghtbrd> CosmicRay - why not, sounds like a fun way to spend the
afternoon =D


In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.
Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?
-- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi,


Press Release -- For Immediate Release
Microsoft Corporation, Redmond, WA

...Virtually all version of Linux (and Unix) contain a security hole that
allows unauthorized users to gain complete control over the machine. By
simply typing "root" at the login prompt and supplying a password from a
limited number of possibilities, a malicious user can easily gain
administrator privileges. This hole can be breached in seconds with only a
dozen or so keystrokes...

We suspect this issue has been known to Red Hat and other Linux
distributors for years and they have refused to acknowlege its existence
or supply a patch preventing users from exploiting the "root" login
loophole...

By ignoring the problem, the Linux community has proven that installing
Linux is a dangerous proposition that could get you fired. We would like
to point out that Windows XP does not suffer from this gaping hole...
Tests conducted by both Ziff-Davis and Mindcraft prove that Windows XP is
indeed the most secure operating system ever produced...
 
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praka123

left this forum longback
good ones!
BTW I likes ur xfce(is it?)'s Window border as per screenshot.which Window manager does it uses?Metacity?if something other than metacity 'd like to try :)
 

mehulved

18 Till I Die............
Any idea what's the name of this package?
I have a few fortune cookies installed here. I get a new one everytime I start my terminal.
I absolutely love the ones from calvin and hobbes and from the kernel.
 
OP
The Outsider

The Outsider

Beneath The Eyelids
praka123 said:
good ones!
BTW I likes ur xfce(is it?)'s Window border as per screenshot.which Window manager does it uses?Metacity?if something other than metacity 'd like to try :)

yes the de is xfce 4.4.1 and wm is the default xfwm4, the wm style is default too, it looks different as for theming i'm using the Murrine engine instead of the default GTK and the exact theme is Murrina PF-Y Blue.

@mehul the name of the package is "xfce4-tips".
 

GNUrag

FooBar Guy
@mehul, you might want to install the package "fortunes-off"

seriously funny and offending fortunes :D
 

mehulved

18 Till I Die............
anurag I guess that stands for fortune offensive?
Well gentoo has use flags to enable/disable features. I have enabled offensive use flag for all fortune mods I have.
The best fun is when you type wrong password :D some are really offensive :p
 
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